


The connection of the webs of life

by lifeofalostelf



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Abusive Father, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Anonymity, Child Abuse, Friends to Lovers, High School, Internet, Internet Relationship, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Teenlock, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-15 08:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 42,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1298356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeofalostelf/pseuds/lifeofalostelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Highschool Au in which John and Sherlock meet each other over Tumblr and their connection grows, with the help of their IRL friends. </p><p> </p><p>(This was inspired by a tumblr post. http://greglestrade.tumblr.com/post/73837290067/someone-write-a-fanfic-where-john-and-sherlock . It just mentioned the idea of John and Sherlock on tumblr and finally my mind decided I had to give it a go.)</p><p>(Also I do not own the characters...obviously.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I have an ask?

John stared at his laptop as it took its sweet time turning on. He sighed softly, tapping a random rhythm against it with his fingers. Finally the locked page lit up and he pecked out his password, smiling when it unlocked his desktop. He laid back against the headboard of his bed as he waited for chrome to load onto his tumblr. He pulled up a bag of crisps and started eating some slowly as he typed in his login. He had just brought a crisp up to his mouth when his tumblr dash popped up. The crisp dropped from his hand as he saw he had an ask. He quickly picked it up again as if someone was watching him. He held it in his hand, staring at the ask like it was some mythical creature likely to be scared away. He shook his head to clear it before stuffing the chip in his mouth to empty his hand so he could click on the ask. He held his breath as it loaded, convinced that it was just spam. It was anonymous but it wasn’t spam. He read it quickly, before realizing he didn’t really read it at all in his excited nervousness. He took a deep breath and read it again slowly this time.

 

                Anonymous asked you:

            I have come to the conclusion that your blog is actually worthy of recognition. It’s not often that I feel this way, so you understand. Though, this in no way means you are not an idiot like most people on here, but you seem to have potential. I have hope yet for humanity.

               

                He couldn’t help the almost violent laughter that emerged from inside of him. It was supposed to be a compliment, he thought. It was definitely an interesting way of giving one. He shook his head lightly, wondering how he was supposed to respond to that. He typed out a response and deleted it several times. He huffed lightly, unsure of what he was supposed to do. He ran a hand through his short blond hair. It shouldn’t be this difficult. He sighed and finally typed out a respond and hit post before he could rethink it.

               

                   bonds-companion:

                            Anonymous asked you:

                                    I have come to the conclusion that your blog is actually worthy of recognition. It’s not often that I feel this way, so you understand. Though, this in no way means you are not an idiot like most people on here, but you seem to have potential. I have hope yet for humanity.

 

                     Um. Thank you. I think. That was probably the most roundabout compliment I’ve ever received, but it was a compliment nonetheless, so I appreciate it. You’re my first ask actually, so ta for that or congrats or something like that. And I’m sorry you don’t see much hope for humanity. I think we’ve got our issues, but we’re alright really.

 

                John chewed his lip a bit after he clicked the publish button. He shook his head, deciding it was too late to change anything now. He didn’t know why he was acting like such a child. It was just a compliment. Other people got them all the time and he was convinced they didn’t act like he did each time they got one. He was curious, however, about the anon. They were definitely unique, he had to give them that.

                Deciding to end the obsessing, he went back to his dash and started his daily scrolling. He got caught up in the scrolling. He laughed at the amusing posts and assured himself that he absolutely did not even come near crying at some of the more emotional posts. He held a completely neutral face as he read through the more smutty posts and was proud of his ability not to blush. He reblogged his favorite posts and liked those that didn’t quite make it to that level. It felt like he was online for a few minutes, well maybe an hour, when he glanced at the clock and realized it had been several hours and now he was going to be late in meeting up with a mate. He shut his laptop without closing out, not wanting to lose where he was on his dash, and quickly grabbed his keys and wallet before calling out to his mum and then leaving.

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

                Sherlock refreshed the blog of ‘bonds-companion’ several time in waiting for a reply. He wasn’t sure why he cared if he got one, but decided it was merely because he wanted to see if he, because Sherlock was sure he was male, going by his blog, would show to be cliché in his reply. Finally he saw the post. An eyebrow rose as he read it. It was meant to be a compliment, he didn’t see how that could ever have been questioned. He barely had to think about the response before typing out another ask and hitting send.

 

                              I don’t think the way the compliment is given matters as long as it’s obvious it’s a compliment which I thought it was. And if that was your first ask then I rescind my other statement, my faith in humanity is as low as ever. Though I wouldn’t want you to get a big head either.

                                      Anonymous

 

                Sherlock waited and waited, continuing to refresh his browser. It was annoying that the boy didn’t reply right away, but Sherlock was convinced he was probably far down his dash and likely not expecting a response seeing as he’d only got one ask before, not used to getting them. He finally pushed his laptop back on the desk as if it offended him.

                He stood up and paced the room, thoughts roaming over ‘bonds-companion’. His own blog was mostly science, including some from other blogs, but mostly from his own experiments and knowledge. It wasn’t a very popular blog, but he didn’t care. He usually didn’t like fandom blogs. They were annoying and people seemed to ‘ship’ anything that breathed, or didn’t breathe for that matter. But John’s blog wasn’t just fandom, he added his own personal posts so Sherlock could see bits into his life. He knew John had a sister who was an alcoholic and a father he didn’t get along with (Sherlock deduced that his father was abusive, but rarely ever home as of late). Along with the facts of bonds-companion’s life, Sherlock was able to see into his personality by the rest of the posts, the variety of fandom posts, the funny posts, the interesting facts and even a small amount of animals that Sherlock assumed were seen as cute. He liked how enlightening the blog was, and the more he saw of bonds-companion’s blog the more intrigued he was, which was usually reversed in most cases.

                Sherlock was too far into his mind to notice anyone enter his room, only snapping out of it when he heard the voice. He turned to face the sound and raised an eyebrow at Molly, not having actually heard what she said, though it was likely a greeting.

                Molly blushed a bit, “Your brother sent me up, said you weren’t busy. I thought we’d get started on our project…” She said, shifting her feet a bit.

                Sherlock rolled his eyes. He knew the way Molly’s mind worked, or mostly anyway. He was actually lucky she was always his partner for projects. She understood him a bit better than others and was less annoying. “Of course you did. You always want to start the projects right away. I told you the first time you agreed to partner with me that I could finish the project myself and you’d have nothing to worry about.”

                Molly bit her lip and shrugged, always a bit intimidated by Sherlock but trying not to let it show. “I don’t want to make you do that. Plus I feel like I learn better by actually doing some of the work.” She said, speaking quietly and not quite making eye contact with Sherlock.

                Silence fell over them for a moment as Sherlock watched her without surprise before shrugging. “Fine. Take a seat wherever. I’ll get my bag.” He murmured before leaving the room to get his schoolbag that he haphazardly dropped as he entered the house as usual. He found it next to the door before heading back up, sighing. He didn’t want to do schoolwork. They had two weeks before the assignment was due. He could do it in an hour before it was due, but of course he realized quickly that she would never wait that long seeing as waiting gave her anxiety.

                He slowly trekked up the stairs, trying to think of ways to put off the project before he made it to his room, only to drop his bag again and roll his eyes at the sight of Molly glancing at his tumblr page, well actually bonds-companion’s blog. “Having fun?” He asked watching the amusing yet predictable image of Molly jumping and turning around. “Sorry! I.. I didn’t mean to.. but you have a tumblr?! Is that yours?” She asked, sounding both embarrassed and strangely excited.

                Rolling his eyes once again, he shook his head. “No. That’s not mine.” He leaned over her shoulder and typed in his own blog. “That is mine.” He said, turning a bit to watch her as she leaned over excitedly and started scrolling down. “Oh...” She said quietly.

                Sherlock raised an eyebrow slightly, knowing it wasn’t what she hoped for. “You couldn’t have expected anything else, really.” He muttered, sighing softly. Molly smiled a bit. “No. I guess not. I mean, you’re not really the type. Though I’m still impressed that you have one at all. And it’s fascinating really. Do you mind if I follow you?” She asked, glancing at Sherlock long enough to get his nod before taking over Sherlock’s computer to log into her own blog, expertly finding Sherlock’s and following it. “So. Onlyconsultingstudentdetective?” She asked with a smile. “I like it. It’s unique and … very you, actually.”

                Sherlock leaned forward again, brushing Molly’s hand aside almost rudely in order to see Molly’s blog, ignoring her own reaction. “Obvious. Childish.” He muttered, as he scrolled through her blog, seeing many posts of animated movies and animals along with people rights sort of things. He noticed there weren’t any personal posts, but then she was a very private person even on an anonymous site. He moved away to give her back her space, ignoring her disappointed expression. “You think?” She asked softly, to which Sherlock ignored in favor of grabbing his bag and moving over to the bed. “Are you going to continue pouting over your blog or are you going to start the project like you seemed so desperate to do earlier?” He asked brusquely as he pulled out the needed notebook and pencil.

                Molly stared at the computer screen for a moment longer before logging out and going over to join Sherlock on the bed so they could get started.


	2. anonymity is bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about later chapters, wanted to see preferences in shipping pairs. If you'd like to comment on preference between Molly/Greg or Mystrade (since I like both pairs), that would be great!
> 
> _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Greg sat on his doorstep waiting for his mate, John to arrive. He shook his head as he saw him, raising an eyebrow. “Get distracted again? Let me guess you were on that site again. Tumble or something.” He watched John chuckle softly. “It’s tumblr. And yeah. I was. Sorry. But I’m here now, yeah?” He said, waiting for Greg to stand.

                They started walking toward the school at a steady pace. “Whatever the site. You spend way too much time on there. I don’t even understand. What’s the point of it?” John shrugged as if it didn’t matter as much as it did. “The point of it.. depends on the person I guess. Each person has their own reasons for going on the site.” He said, not looking at Greg as they walked.

                Greg sighed, “I was asking your reason for going on it. It’s just pictures and stuff. Peoples annoying comments. Right?” He asked, glancing at John who chuckled lightly, finally making eye contact. “It can be. But there’s more to it than that I guess. For me.. I don’t know. It’s a place to share interests. And share facts about myself in an anonymous way. You know? It’s like.. I can actually ask for support for things when I can’t ask for support from people I know.”

                “You mean people like me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow again. He was slightly offended that John would tell things to people he didn’t know before telling Greg. Greg was his best friend after all. They’d been best mates since primary school. Greg thought John told him everything, but apparently he was wrong, seeing the expression on John’s face, the slight uneasiness was written all over him. Greg nodded as if he got his answer. “Right. I don’t see why you can’t tell me things, John. I’m your best mate and you know me, and let’s face it, I’m real.” He said, hoping to get it through to John.

                John’s expression took on a mixture between outraged and embarrassed. He shook his head before speaking again. “Greg.. You just. You don’t get it. Yeah. You’re my best mate. And I do tell you things. Most things. But there’s some things.. I just, I like to keep to myself. And the people online. Well… It’s sometimes easier to talk to them because they don’t know me for me, you know? They’re not going to judge me.” He put up his hand in peace at the outraged look on Greg’s face. “I don’t mean that you judge me. Or at least.. I know you try not to. But come on Greg… It’s just, different I guess. And really I don’t speak to specific people. It’s just my blog. No one talks to me on there really. Well.. until today apparently.” He said, a smile growing on his face a bit, to Greg’s astonishment.

                “Who’s talking to you now? What’d they say?” Greg asked quickly. He guessed he could ignore the rest of it for now. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know why someone would want to talk to people they didn’t know, and besides that he didn’t understand why they would blog about kittens and other ridiculous things.

                “I.. well. I don’t know. It’s anonymous. But they.. probably she, since majority on there are girls, I think…” His brows furrowed a bit in thought before his face cleared and he shrugged. “They said they liked my blog.” He said with a grin that didn’t falter even when faced with Greg’s stoic expression. “It was nice.” He said, almost defensively, but still with a smile.

                Greg shook his head and took a deep breath. “Alright, whatever mate. It’s your life. If you want to spend all day on the web with people you don’t know and can’t trust rather than me. It’s all fine. But don’t make me late next time, yeah?” He finished speaking as the two of them made it to the school and headed toward the field.

                John followed behind, not answering. He didn’t know what to say to Greg. He wanted him to understand the purpose of a blog, how just writing it for people to see helped him. Their comments on his posts were always welcome. They helped him get through the days when everything else just seemed dull. He entered the lockers right behind Greg and got dressed for their game. It wasn’t a real game, it wasn’t even technically practice. It was just some mates from the team that liked to get together Saturday nights to kick a ball around. John liked playing when it was nearing sunset and he liked playing with fewer people, though he did enjoy everyone on the actual team. As soon as he was dressed he headed onto the field with the others, pushing all thoughts of the anonymous user and Greg’s thoughts on his blog out of his mind.

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

                John made it home in time for dinner, not speaking to his mum much but thankful that neither his sister, Harry, nor his father were home. It definitely made things quieter and more peaceful, or so he thought, before she smiled up at him and then started speaking. “Are you done with your homework?” She asked quietly, as if it wasn’t a loaded question. John sighed. “Mum. It’s Saturday.” He said, like that answered everything, which to John it did, but going by the expression on his mum’s face, she disagreed. “And?” She pushed. He shook his head. “No. I’m not. I’ll finish it tomorrow.” He paused long enough to meet her gaze before sighing. “I’ll work on it after dinner.” He said, knowing full well he’d get distracted and not finish at all, but it seemed to appease her, since she nodded. “Good. I don’t want you to get behind.” She said, and if John thought that was the end, he was wrong. “How’s school been? We haven’t had much time to talk about things…recently.” She left out the reasons for that.

                John sighed and poked at his food, suddenly not very hungry. “School’s fine mum.” He said. He was antsy now, just wanting to leave and go up to his room. He didn’t want to deal with this now, didn’t want to talk to his mum who didn’t understand. She nodded, though she didn’t look convinced. “And… any new girls in your life I don’t know about?” She asked with a smile that told John she knew exactly what she was doing. He rolled his eyes. “No mum. No new girls.” He wouldn’t tell her even if there was.

                It wasn’t that he didn’t like his mum. He loved her, very much. He just couldn’t talk to her about things. He didn’t understand how some people could discuss things with their parents. If he told anything at all to his dad he’d smack him and tell him to quit whining. And his mum, well she was kind and tried to be understanding, but she wasn’t always there. She wouldn’t stick up to John’s dad for one thing, and she never truly did understand. She’d try to explain everything away. And of course he couldn’t talk to his alcoholic sister. She couldn’t even handle her own issues, how could she tell him how to handle his?

                She frowned a bit but nodded. “Alright, love. Finish your meal and you can go pretend to do your homework.” She said with a knowing look. “I want some evidence that you started it though.” She said, before standing to put her own dishes in the sink and start washing them.

                John scoffed lightly before taking a few more bites of his food. He threw away the last bit before handing her his plate as well and then going to his room, trying not to look as though he was too eager.

                He sighed softly as he shut the door, leaning against it for a moment before moving to drop on the bed next to the bag of crisps and his computer. He set the bag aside before pulling the laptop on his lap like before and logging in. He told himself he’d start his homework in a bit and tried to believe it. He started scrolling down his tumblr from where he left off, before opening a new tab to start at the top again. He grinned when he saw the new ask, clicking on it quickly to see the message.

                John chuckled softly and quickly tapped out a reply to the anonymous ask. He couldn’t believe they were still talking to him, but it definitely made him feel better, and that was something no one in his family including his mate Greg, would understand. He hit post then refreshed the page, deciding to keep this page at the top, just in case.

                _Anonymous:_

_I don’t think the way the compliment is given matters as long as it’s obvious it’s a compliment which I thought it was. And if that was your first ask then I rescind my other statement, my faith in humanity is as low as ever. Though I wouldn’t want you to get a big head either._

                bonds-companion:

                _Right, fine. It was a compliment and I appreciate it immensely. You made me grin like an idiot, happy? Also, you’re highly contradictory. You tell me that I’m still not necessarily not an idiot. And then you say that humanity is low for not noticing me, but then you say you don’t want me to get a big head. You shouldn’t compliment me so much, then. Getting a GIANT head. :D_

                John couldn’t help but feel like an idiot after posting that. He knew his grammar was off, but couldn’t care enough to change it. Besides, by the sounds of the person, they’d mention it to him, which meant they’d have to send another. John grinned at the thought. Maybe everything wasn’t as bad as he thought.

\--------------------------------------

 

Sherlock wasn’t entirely sure how it happened. Molly and Sherlock had started their project. They probably spent a couple of hours on it, and it wouldn’t take too much longer to finish. But sometime during their work they needed to look something up. Sherlock brought his computer over and looked for what they needed. However, that wasn’t the end of it. From there, the project was gone from their minds and they were both scrolling through tumblr. Molly was showing him some of her favorite blogs while Sherlock scowled and shook his head. He mocked almost every post Molly showed him, but somehow Molly was enjoying herself.

“You like them. You’re just trying to pretend you don’t. Besides, I saw the blog you were on earlier. Whose was that? They must be pretty important if you hate everything on their blog.” She said with a self-satisfied expression.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “No, I don’t know them. They don’t even follow me.” He said, almost sounding put out before taking over the computer again to go to his blog. “And it’s not about the individual things on their blog. It’s altogether. He posts some of the stupidest posts at times, but still, together, they make him.” He said as if that explained everything and didn’t just add to Molly’s confusion.

Molly chuckled and shook her head. “Alright. Fine. So you like him, not his blog.” She rolled her eyes, not entirely sure how the two could be mutually exclusive, but smart enough not to bring it up. Sherlock was too busy scrolling down the blog to pay attention.

“You just got on. How do you blog so much so quickly?” He muttered to himself, to Molly’s amusement. “Well, whether or not you know him, or you like his blog.. you’re still emotionally invested by the sounds of it. Have you talked to him?” She asked, innocently.

Sherlock huffed. “Of course I’ve talked to him.” He muttered, and then grinned when he found what he was looking for. Bonds-companion had answered him. Molly looked over, highly interested, before she let out a dramatic sigh. “Anonymous? No wonder he’s not following you. How would he even know who you are?”            

Ignoring her, Sherlock read through the post before instantly going up to write another ask.

_Anonymous:_

_Hm. Yes, I think I’m satisfied with the grin. And I’m aware of my contradictory tendencies, but it makes life interesting. Putting a word between the two negatives doesn’t cancel out the double negative. I do hope you’re aware. And to think you’ve been doing so well otherwise. And look, you used ridiculous emoticons as well. Well isn’t that endearing. Next you’ll be sending me *hugs* and the like._

 

Molly bit her lip to keep from laughing as she read over his shoulder. “You do realize, you sound like you’re flirting with the person. Well… at least if it wasn’t you it would be flirting. And seeing as they don’t know you…” She trailed off with a smile. Sherlock rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not flirting. I’m telling him he’s an idiot. And he’s male, so you might as well call him as such.” She raised her eyebrow but decided not to ask. “Right. Okay. He, then. And not flirting. Sure. Tell me when you get engaged though, I’d love to be the flower girl.” She grinned widely at him.

Sherlock huffed and turned away from her, ignoring her again as it was easier than listening to more of her silly theories. He went back to refreshing John’s blog every so often, looking at his new posts while waiting for him to answer, hoping it wouldn’t take as long as last time. Molly, meanwhile, watched Sherlock with a gleam of both understanding and mischievousness. She glanced at the name of the blog and read it over and over again, trying to memorize it the best she could.

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

_Anonymous:_

_Hm. Yes, I think I’m satisfied with the grin. And I’m aware of my contradictory tendencies, but it makes life interesting. Putting a word between the two negatives doesn’t cancel out the double negative. I do hope you’re aware. And to think you’ve been doing so well otherwise. And look, you used ridiculous emoticons as well. Well isn’t that endearing. Next you’ll be sending me *hugs* and the like._

_bonds-companion:_

_I was quite aware. I also knew you were going to say something about it. You really are self-assured, aren’t you? Probably think you’re some sort of genius, next to all of us idiots. And I like emoticons, thanks very much. They help express the emotion of what you’re saying so it’s not mistaken. And I’m going to take that to mean you want a hug from me. It’s very forward of you, I don’t even know your tumblr name._

_Anonymous:_

_I am a genius. And I’m not sure if knowing that you were wrong, but writing it anyway really helps your image of an idiot. It’s almost worse than writing a double negative out of ignorance. You can express the emotion through the connotation of the words you use. It’s just as simple, and less childish. No, you don’t know it._

_bonds-companion:_

_Of course you are. :P  It’s worse to be ignorant. Because choosing to be childish, well at least I can change when needed or when I want to. Again, I like being childish sometimes, lightens the mood and all that, yeah? And thank you captain obvious. That was my way of asking if you’d come off of anonymous. If you don’t want me to post responses I can answer privately, can’t if you’re on anonymous though. So, what do you say anon?_

_Anonymous:_

_I don’t appreciate my intelligence being questioned, or mocked as it were. I do have to admit you may have a bit of a point, that you can go choose to be intelligent eventually. But it’s still worse. Because you have a chance to prove you’re not ignorant, a chance to share your intelligence with others, rather than joining in their ignorance. I’m aware of what you were asking._

_bonds-companion:_

_Seeing as you wont tell me who you are, I can’t really trust your intelligence, can I? Though what you said makes sense… Though it probably won’t make me stop being my childish and fun self :D But I’ll try to do better, all for you. I hope you’re happy._


	3. The blogger and his anon

As soon as Molly got home she logged into the family computer. She didn’t have long, since her parents only let her on during certain hours and only once she was finished with her homework. She logged into her tumblr and immediately found the blog bonds-companion. She immediately followed it and then sent an ask, deciding against anonymous and hoping that he honored her wish.

               

_cutesy_cat_loves:_

_Hey. First, I would really really appreciate it if you didn’t post any of the asks I send you, Thank you! I just wanted to talk. And no, I’m sorry if I got your hopes up, but I’m not your anon. But I don’t want your anon knowing I’m talking to you either. So, please… and thank you. Second, I love the blog. And I adore your responses to the anon, I know they’re not the easiest person to get on with, seeing as they’re so rude most of the time, not entirely their fault though, just mostly misunderstood I think._

               

She hit send and bit her lip, hoping Sherlock didn’t hate her after this, but he obviously wasn’t going to tell the boy anything about himself. Not that Molly would give anything away either, but still, it would be good to know more about the boy and she had to admit she was curious. Sherlock has never shown interest in anyone before, not that she knew of anyway.

She was just about to refresh her blog when her father entered the room with a raised eyebrow. She sighed and logged out, promising herself to make it to the library the next day to see if he responded. She turned off the computer and headed to her room for bed. She wished she had a fancy phone where she could get on the internet. Her mom had promised her one for her birthday which wasn’t too far away. She sat at her desk with just the lamp on and pulled out a pencil and some paper starting to write out a fanfic, smiling softly as she did, but stopping every once in a while to make sure she didn’t just hear footsteps and then continuing once again.

\----------------------------------------------

John couldn’t believe the conversation he had that night. He kept refreshing his dash to find a new anon only a few minutes after he sent his response. He didn’t know what it was about this person either. They were amusing and yet charming in a strange way. He felt like he should have been insulted often enough but he wasn’t. Most of what the person said was right anyway. And John had a strange way of thinking of the person as a she. He didn’t know for sure, but he sort of wanted it to be a girl though he wouldn’t even admit to himself why that was. They were just talking, that was all, nothing more than that.

John was ready to start his homework just so he had something to show his mother, when he noticed someone new following him. It wasn’t so strange, though it was still exciting whenever he got a new follower, and he’d been afraid he’d scare away some followers with the banter with the anon, not that he cared. It was his blog he could do what he liked and he liked talking to the anon.

After a while later he had another ask. He started to read it before noticing the person wasn’t anonymous. His eyes widened and he thought for a moment it was his anon, before sighing in disappointment as he continued reading it. He leaned his head back hard enough to bang it against the headboard causing him to wince and rub the back of his head. He sighed and finally read it again, actually comprehending what it was saying. His eyes widened again. This person knew his anon. Or so it seemed. He quickly typed out a response, making sure to keep it on private as the person, who was probably a girl but not necessarily, had asked.

_cutesy_cat_loves:_

_Hey. First, I would really really appreciate it if you didn’t post any of the asks I send you, Thank you! I just wanted to talk. And no, I’m sorry if I got your hopes up, but I’m not your anon. But I don’t want your anon knowing I’m talking to you either. So, please… and thank you. Second, I love the blog. And I adore your responses to the anon, I know they’re not the easiest person to get on with, seeing as they’re so rude most of the time, not entirely their fault though, just mostly misunderstood I think._

_bonds-companion:_

_Thanks for the compliment. And does that mean you know the anon? like personally? And know what the blog is of said person? Not that I would ask you to go behind their back…just curious. Now I sound like I’m just badgering you about the anon. Sorry about that. I really do appreciate the ask and the compliment. And thanks for the follow. You said you’d like to talk. You’re welcome to talk to me about anything and ask anything. And I promise not to post anything you send. :D_

 

He waited for another response from cutsey_cat_loves, interspersed with responses from his anon, but nothing came. He sighed and finally gave up waiting, and started on his homework doing just enough to appease his mother before shutting down his computer and collapsing on his bed.

\-------------------------------------------------

                Sherlock was relieved when Molly left, not that she was terrible. She was actually insightful and led him to interesting conclusions about the blogging world that he didn’t think about before. However, he had more important things to think about, like bonds-companion. They were delightfully not boring. He was also relieved with the speed of his responses. Until the point where they stopped without notice. He continued refreshing and scrolling along bonds-companion’s blog before he finally decided that he was gone. He glanced at the clock and noticed it was getting late. He raised an eyebrow and wondered if that meant he went to bed and that they were within similar time zones. He immediately ignored the happiness he felt at that thought, deeming it irrelevant.

                Sherlock continued looking through bonds-companion’s blog, deciding he’d make it all the way to the beginning and learn as much as he could about the boy. His favorite posts were always the personal ones, though the blogger had interesting taste in other things as well and sometimes he found himself laughing at some post or other.

He stumbled across a post that was basically an argument between the U.S., Britain, and Canada. He grinned. He was one of the three. That was helpful, narrowed it down at least. Well, unless he just thought it was amusing, which could have been possible. He really wished he’d tag his posts. He rarely even tagged his personal tags. Though he did mention tea often enough. Still couldn’t be sure quite yet. He needed further research.

He spent the rest of the night going through the blog, and barely even noticed that the sun had come up before he heard a firm knock on the door. “I know you’re awake. You didn’t eat dinner last night. You’re not skipping breakfast.” The disembodied voice murmured, being that of his brother. He didn’t bother responding and soon he heard footsteps walking away. He sighed and shut his laptop, not bothering to turn it off, before getting dressed and heading downstairs for the likely argument with his brother. He decided to ignore his brother once he was downstairs. He made himself toast to keep him from starting an argument, or worse turning off the wifi. He sat at the table and ate it slowly all the while thinking of his blogger. He wasn’t sure when he started calling him that in his head, but he wasn’t likely to stop either.

Sherlock was actually quite proud of his findings about the boy, based on his blog and some reading between the lines. He was in secondary school, most likely sixth form. He was thinking about joining the army, likely to get away from his family, but also to pay for university seeing as he wanted to be a doctor. And most importantly, he lived in England. They lived on the same giant island. Sherlock was very satisfied with that, though no one needed to know. He finished his toast before ignoring more words from his brother and heading back upstairs to his sanctuary. It was Sunday after all, and hopefully his blogger would be online again.

\---------------------------------------------------

 

_cutes_cat_loves:_

_It’s fine, I understand completely ;) . Yes I do know the anon. I can’t give you their blog name, sorry. They’d be rather upset. But I will definitely try to get them to tell you. Truthfully I messaged you so you could talk about the anon, so I don’t mind you badgering me about them. I won’t answer anything thing don’t want me to though… and I’ll likely be vague, out of some sort of misplaced loyalty or something. :P_

_bonds-companion:_

_Um.. I don’t think you do understand. I mean.. It’s not what you seem to be thinking. I don’t truly even know them, so… there’s that. It’s good to be loyal, I’m glad they have you. And I’m also glad you found me, because I do want to know more about them, I doubt you could be nearly as vague as they are. I do want to ask about them, but I’m not even sure what to ask, at all… Except why they started the anon thing, do they do that often? I mean, I suppose it would be an interesting way to just talk to people over the web in general._

_Anonymous:_

_I’d like to point out that it’s fairly rude to just quit responding without any sort of notice, seeing as we were talking back and forth almost like a chat. Do be wary next time of other’s agendas rather than one’s own._

_bonds-companion:_

_I apologize, I wasn’t aware it was necessary, but sure I’ll keep that in mind. I went to bed by the way. Sleep, something some people do sometimes. Or are you one of the bloggers that stays up late into the night and posting the most interesting things? Are you a night blogger or …are you an Australian? o.O_

_Anonymous:_

_Ah. Well that confirms my theory, thank you for that. I’m neither, I don’t know how you came to that conclusion, but I can assure you I don’t post ridiculous things in the middle of the night and neither am I Australian._

_bonds-companion:_

_Wait, what theory? I wasn’t aware there was a theory here… Neither, Hm. Well you seemed to be against sleep or something. Though you’re likely just in a different time zone… so it’s earlier for you or something?_

_cutesy_cats_loves:_

_Actually, I think I understand more than you do. But I suppose you’re right, just a few flirty messages mean nothing, do they? I’m not entirely sure why they started the anon thing. Truthfully I’m not too close to them, they like their privacy, though they don’t leave other’s privacy alone. But that’s mostly because they can’t help but know things. They’re really quite intelligent. I think they were lonely actually, that or it was an experiment, but you’re the only one they’ve been doing it with. Plus, they really do like your blog, so that’s a win for you I think._

_bonds-companion:_

_They’re not flirty! They’re just… talking. That’s it. Nothing more. They do sound like someone to like their privacy; that I can definitely understand. Also the lonely bit. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, even if you can’t see their face. I feel like I’m learning enough just by the way they write and banter. And thanks. It’s great to know they actually like me. I mean my blog._

_Anonymous:_

_There’s always a theory. Not in a different time zone. That was my theory. Based on your blog and your posts, I can tell that you also live in England. And that you’re male. Which is obvious, along with other simple things that anyone would know if they just paid attention. Also, you should tag your posts, it would give more insight into your person._

_bond-companion:_

_Seriously?! Wicked. Good to know you’re also in England. Not that it matters, but for time zone sakes. Bloody hell, I have to go, thought you’d like to know since you get all prissy if I just up and disappear._

_bond-companion:_

_Great. So my dad came home, as did my sister. At the same time. Isn’t that lovely? I’m just glad it’s over. Though of course, they get into it and I’m the one with the evidence of the fight. She just can’t keep herself from trouble and then I have to go and keep her from doing something too bloody stupid, which just puts me in the middle. The things you do for your family._

_[still in inbox]_

_Anonymous:_

_How hard did he hit you? You obviously have a bruise or cut, seeing as you have ‘evidence of the fight.’ Why did you get involved? You should just leave it alone. You know how it is. And he’s probably unlikely to hurt her as much as he does you. There is something called self-preservation. I think you should learn a bit about it._


	4. The best kind of corruption

Sherlock hurried home after school on Monday. Bonds-companion hadn’t responded to his message. He supposed he didn’t want to let that out to everyone else, but they were idiots if they didn’t see it themselves. He was antsy and wouldn’t answer any of Molly’s questions. He ignored the rest of the students as well. The only other two people who spoke to him were Sally and Phillip and Sherlock wanted nothing to do with them, especially since they only made rude comments probably because Sherlock let it be known that Phillip was cheating on Sally. Again, it was obvious. Someone might have thought Sally should be appreciative of Sherlock’s interference, but apparently it was Sherlock’s fault she was dating an idiot.

Sherlock finally made it home and dropped his bag at the door as per usual before hurrying up the stairs, he told himself it was absolutely not running. He turned on his laptop cursing at it for being slow before finally he logged in and looked at the blog that filled his mind most of the time. He growled and shoved his computer away when he saw there was no answer. He calmed himself with the sight that there were no other posts from him either, so he wasn’t avoiding him.

The calm lasted all of a minute before Sherlock began worrying about bonds-companion. He’d been abused the night before. He had posted, but now he wasn’t. Was he hurt more than he thought? Did he have to go to emergency? He shook his head to clear it of such worries, telling himself he didn’t care anyway, before promptly sending another ask.

_Anonymous:_

_I understand that you obviously didn’t want to talk about it. And I apologize if I was brusque. But you really should find the decency within you to at least let people out there, who may or may not care about, know that you’re alright after what happened yesterday._

 

He sighed and tugged gently at his hair as he went back to his routine of refreshing bonds-companion’s blog. It lasted approximately an hour before Sherlock cried out in frustration when he got the error page after he refreshed telling him that he didn’t have internet. He turned around just in time to watch the door open to show his brother standing there in his ridiculous suit. Sherlock practically snarled at him. “What do you want? You know I can connect the internet again in less than five minutes.”

Mycroft gave a condescending smile. “I locked it.” He said simply, brushing out a crease in his suit. Sherlock stared at him, raising an eyebrow “And?” He asked like that meant nothing to him. “It would take you at least ten minutes to unlock it.” Mycroft said calmly. “And you’re well aware how easy it is to disconnect it again.” He sounded almost bored, even looked bored.

Sherlock ground his teeth to keep from insulting the fat lard. “I repeat. What. Do. You. Want?” He ground out, staring at him intensely. Mycroft shrugged lightly. “I’d have thought you’d be aware. You insulted a professor, received detention after school and yet…” He gave him a half-hearted attempt at a confused gaze before glancing at his watch dramatically. “You’re home early.” He looked back up at Sherlock, with a raised eyebrow, asking for an explanation.

Sherlock huffed. “Said professor was being an idiot and taking too long to explain simple notions. And I had more important things to do than stay at that school for longer than absolutely necessary.” He crossed his arms, still sitting and glaring at his brother.

Mycroft nodded as if none of it was new to him. “It is interesting, dear brother, usually you stay as long as you can at school. I wonder what could have changed.” He said, eyes glancing over to Sherlock’s computer. Sherlock closed it quickly, though it was still on the error page. He glared at him. “What do you really want? You’re not my father, Mycroft. Nor does father or mother for that matter, care what I do. Go. Away. And put the wifi back on.” He snapped.

Mycroft let out a scoff. “I’m rather aware I’m not father. I’m rather proud of that fact actually. And I just wanted to talk. Just because our parents abandon your schooling and care doesn’t mean I have.” Sherlock ground his teeth harder. “Shut. Up. Mycroft. You don’t care. You’ve never cared. You don’t get to tell me what to do, or talk to me just because you feel like it. Besides. I’m doing fine in school. Better than fine. All I have to do is show up to tests and I pass the stupid classes. Now. GET OUT!” He yelled the last bit, getting irritated and wanting nothing to do with Mycroft.

Mycroft shook his head slowly as if sorry for what he was about to say. “Fine, Sherlock. I’ll go, since you don’t want to discuss your new hobby. I’m not, however, going to put the wifi back on until you finish your homework. For the full week. And I expect you to stay after tomorrow to fulfill your detention. Clear?” He said, not waiting for an answer before leaving. Sherlock snarled after him before getting up angrily, flinging his chair aside as he did so. He threw himself face down on the bed, and stayed there for a long while before finally getting up and going to get his bag to start his dreaded homework. Besides, Mycroft never said he had to do it right.

\----------------------------------------

John spent the day at school trying to keep his head down and not draw attention to himself or his black eye. It was the first time in years that his dad had done something that John couldn’t hide, though he had stolen make-up from Harry to try to cover it. Harry had refused to help him, saying that their father deserved to be caught and John should stop hiding it as it would be beneficial. But John disagreed. Their mother wouldn’t be able to support herself, let alone the two of them, and Harry wasn’t anywhere close to supporting herself either. John had no choice, they needed the man’s money. So he covered it as much as he could and when asked, blamed it on Greg kicking a ball with bad aim when they stayed later than the others after their makeshift game.

It wasn’t the first time Greg had gone along with such a story and John was sure it wouldn’t be the last. But just like every other time, John had promised he’d tell Greg all about it later.

John had purposely ignored the anon, both because he was upset by the words and because he wasn’t quite ready to even anonymously tell people that he was abused. He hated how it made him vulnerable and weak.

John was glad to finally be able to leave the school. He ignored Sally’s comment on his eye, deciding it wasn’t worth the argument. Sally wasn’t always so bad, but she did like to be on top and show how she was above everyone, most of the time anyway. He supposed it was mostly her feminist take on things and showing she could be better than any guy. John wasn’t too sure.

Finally, John made it home and was rather happy to have ditched Greg while he was at it. He had told him he’d talk to him after school, but he wasn’t looking forward to it. His celebration was short-lived however as he walked into the house, and immediately saw Greg with a cup of tea, and his mum smiling at them. Greg grinned at him. “Took you long enough. I was sure you’d race here to get away. But you’re slowing down mate.” He said before taking a sip of his tea.

Cursing his luck, John just nodded. “Right. I’ll be in my room when you’re done.” He muttered and turned that way, ignoring the sound of disapproval from his mum at his rude behavior. John didn’t think he was being rude. Greg knew his house well enough to get around and he knew his mum well enough to not be awkward. It was just the way things were with mates. He closed the door to his room, knowing Greg wouldn’t bother knocking. He set his bag next to the table, which served as a desk that he never used, and then sat on his bed with his laptop.

Greg opened the door just as John had logged into tumblr and noticed John’s frown. “What is it?” He asked, moving to sit next to him. He sighed as he saw the site, but decided not to start their usual argument.

“So, that’s your anon huh?” He asked, reading it and frowning a bit. “Either they’re a creepy stalker that wants all of your time, or they really do care…” He said. John nodded. “I.. I mean, they’re trying to make it seem like they don’t but.. yeah.. it seems like they do.” He said, sounding a bit in awe. Greg’s mouth dropped a bit. “John. No. You don’t even know them!” He said, pointing at the screen.

John shook his head and cocked his head to the side in confusion. “no, what?” He said, watching him intently now. Greg sighed. “I’ve seen that look. You had that look when you had your crush on Sarah.” He said. “You don’t even know if they’re a girl or a guy, John. Not that I care, but I know you do.” John ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I know. Alright? I know that I don’t know a lot about this person. But they’re.. I don’t know.. They know me. They understand me, and they’re witty and clever. And there’s something about her…them.” He said, correcting himself at the last moment.

Greg bit his lip to keep from saying anything. He then took a deep breath to calm himself, as if he was dealing with a small child and trying to get them to understand. “John… I know that there is a chance that this person is a lovely girl that lives somewhere reasonably close and the two of you can get married and have fifty children or whatever the hell you want, but that is a VERY small chance. You’re setting yourself up here. And I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

They stared at each other for a moment before John finally nodded. “I know. I do know. It’s just hard.” He said quietly, still staring at the ask. “I guess I just want this to be real.. but Greg, I’m not going to stop talking to her…them.” Greg looked like he was about to argue before rolling his eyes. “You’re too stubborn for me to tell you not to. You’d just shut me out. And You’ve been doing enough of that already.” He muttered. “Alright. Answer your princess and then we’ll talk. I still want to know what happened, or at least how you’re handling it. Anything.”

John sighed and nodded. He answered the message quickly before he turned to Greg.

_Anonymous:_

_I understand that you obviously didn’t want to talk about it. And I apologize if I was brusque. But you really should find the decency within you to at least let people out there, who may or may not care about, know that you’re alright after what happened yesterday._

bonds-companion:

_I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware you cared. I’m fine. I just didn’t want to respond to that message, and seeing as I don’t know your blog, I couldn’t send you an ask instead, could I? I’m fine. It’s just been a busy day._

 

“Well.. It happened how it always does. Harry and my dad were in the same room. Nothing else needs to be said really. Just their arguments started, where they both blame each other for their problems. Then he went to smack her and I got involved, so he punched me instead.” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

Greg let out a heavy sigh. “Damn, John. You.. You really need to stop.. look I know you want to stick up for your sister but she does it all the time. She almost asks for it.. Oh come on John, don’t look at me like that. I’m aware that no one ACTUALLY asks for it. But she could try, for your sake at least. She knows you get hurt every time she does something.”  

John didn’t say anything. He looked down at a spot on his knee and shrugged. He couldn’t deny the fact that he’d like it if Harry thought about him every once in a while, but he wasn’t going to stop interfering. He ran a hand through his hair again. “I don’t know what to say Greg. We both know nothing’s going to change.. until I’m out of here. And honestly, I’m terrified of leaving. I don’t want to leave my family to him, but I have no choice…” He picked at the spot on his trousers.

“You’re really thinking about going to the army then?” He asked, looking up at him. John shrugged. “I don’t really have another choice. I can’t support myself to get through college. And ill be damned if I give up my dreams of being a doctor because of that git. And on top of it all, I need to be able to take care of my mum in the end…” He said quietly. Greg didn’t know how to respond to that. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. You’ll do fine anyway. I don’t see the army breaking John Watson.” He offered a grin to which John returned a half-hearted smile.

Greg then glanced at John’s blog and shook his head in defeat. “Alright John. Show me your world.” He said, getting comfortable and watching John scroll first through his own blog and then through several others until Greg was laughing so hard he had tears streaming from his eyes. John felt accomplished in finally corrupting his best mate.


	5. Shippers shipping

Molly visited Sherlock again on Friday after class, under the excuse that they had to finish their project. She was thrilled with her conversations with bonds-companion. She hadn’t said much about Sherlock yet. They were spending more time getting to know each other a bit. Molly found herself quite charmed by the boy and thought he’d be good for Sherlock. The problem was she was convinced that bonds-companion thought his anon was a girl. In Molly’s opinion it was a minor error, but she wasn’t sure if the boy would agree with that. She just hoped Sherlock’s insistence to anonymity wouldn’t blow up in their faces.

Molly was once again greeted at the door by Sherlock’s brother, Mycroft. She barely spoke to him beyond ‘thank you’ before heading upstairs, both out of timidity and because Mycroft didn’t really give her a chance to say more.

She knocked on the door softly and entered the room, smiling when she found him at his desk, once again on Tumblr. “bonds-companion?”  She asked innocently. She glanced around the room looking for a seat, finding a chair hidden by clothes and other things, or at least she suspected there was a chair under there. “Oh… Do you mind if I…” Sherlock waved his arm in acquiescence without looking at her.

Molly stared at the chair for a moment, before hesitantly starting to pick pieces of clothes off the chair. Eventually she gave up and just shoved it all off onto the floor, deciding Sherlock didn’t care much about it. Sure enough, Sherlock still didn’t even look up. Molly brought the chair over toward him and sat. “So…” She started. “Any new developments?” She asked, trying to find a good way to approach the subjects.

Sherlock shrugged and typed out another answer to bonds-companion. Molly sighed softly. “Aren’t you going to say anything. You have someone who understands and knows… things, and you don’t even want to talk to about it? Surely you’re dying to talk about him.” She said, almost in defeat.

Sherlock paused for a moment, seemingly thinking over what she said. “I suppose…wait.” He said before looking at her sharply. “What do you mean by knows things?” He asked, eyeing her intensely. He was well aware that she didn’t just mean about the situation. “What do you know about bonds-companion?”

Molly had the decency to blush a bit. “Well.. I sort of.. I’m following him, that’s all…” She said, not quite meeting his eye and instead looking at the blog Sherlock was on, bonds-companion’s, of course.

Sherlock continued staring at her. “You’ve talked to him. But he hasn’t posted it. He still doesn’t know who I am.” He said matter of fact-like. Molly shook her head. “No. He doesn’t know who you are. Really we haven’t talked much about you.. well.. we have, obviously we have. But.. I’m just learning about him, that’s all. He’s rather interesting actually.” She started to sound almost defensive, afraid of Sherlock’ reaction, but surprisingly Sherlock’s eyes lit up at her words.

“What have you learned? Tell me.” He demanded, leaning in toward her, making her eyes widen a bit. She shifted slightly, uncomfortable under the attention and proximity. “I… well.. not a lot… Mostly what you already knew. Though… he does think you’re a girl.” She added and watched him make a face, almost in disgust at the idea, which made her bite her lip to keep from laughing.

“Well it’s good isn’t it?” She said with a smile. “I mean… the way he talks about you. He definitely hopes you’re a chick. I think that’s rather telling, myself.” She said, watching him with both curiosity and amusement. Sherlock frowned a bit before speaking. “I don’t see how it’s a good thing. If he’s hoping I’m a girl, then he’s not likely to be accepting of me being male. Well.. not in the way I’d want him to be.” He murmured the last bit, making Molly lean in a bit in order to hear. She bit her lip again to hold back the grin.

“Oh? And how would you want him to be accepting of him?” She asked, forcing her voice to stay calm, though she was feeling rather giddy. It was like a fanfic acting out in front of her. Sherlock glanced at her quickly. “I don’t. It’s nothing.” He said, or snapped more like, before glancing back at her computer. That only had Molly smiling more. “Alright.” She said, knowingly.

Sherlock merely scoffed, not saying anything more, and soon they were blogging again, with Molly getting overly excited and Sherlock snapping at her inane comments on shipping and the like.

\---------------------------------

The Monday before, after Mycroft had finally turned the wifi back on, Sherlock was immensely relieved to see John’s comment on his message. John was fine, and Sherlock h ad just over-reacted. He sat there staring at the message, letting himself fill with relief and happiness that the boy was alright. Then he had to spend another hour or so going over why it was that he cared so much. It shouldn’t have taken so long, except that every time he came to the conclusion that he had feelings for the boy he had to dismiss it and try to find another explanation. However, when you have eliminated that which is impossible, whatever remains has to be the truth. It didn’t make sense. How could he have feelings for someone he hadn’t met? In fact… how could he have feelings? The Holmes family didn’t do feelings, ever, and Sherlock had grown up with that, learned their ways, learned not to care. And yet he sat day after day conversing with a boy over the internet, grinning at his comments, feeling butterflies when he indirectly flirted with him, or when he complimented him.

He spent the rest of the week pondering his thoughts and how he could possibly be afflicted with such a disorder. In fact, on Friday, when he sat with Molly, the girl who had only been a better option of a project partner than the other idiots in their class, he realized he was rather fond of her as well.

He had almost been rude and indifferent to her but she pushed through, taking everything he threw at her, and he felt almost relieved. It was odd to think about, that he would be relieved someone wasn’t running away from his insults or when they were immediately brushed off. He was almost glad they never actually finished their project before she went home. It meant she had to come again.

Sherlock decided to stop thinking about it. Thinking about these new realizations, these new afflictions, was only making things worse, making him more aware when he spoke to either bonds-companion or to Molly. He preferred to ignore it all and pretend like he was as indifferent as ever. Surely, that was the best way to handle these new circumstances.

\-----------------------------------

                The week was looking up for John. He found every day better than the last. He was sure he’d convince Greg to get his own tumblr by the next week at least, and Greg had even begun calling John’s anon a girl and almost encouraging John to talk to her. John gave up all pretense of calling his anon by anything other than a girl. He was convinced it had to be a girl, if only by his growing feelings for the girl.

His black eye was steadily fading into a lesser bruise and he was glad for that. It definitely drew less attention to him. He even felt himself getting more on track with his homework. He felt lighter, happier than he had in years, and he knew it was mostly due to the anon along with his finally letting Greg into his secret online life. He was closer to Greg than he had ever been and it felt good. It felt good to finally be able to discuss things with Greg. And he had to admit, it felt nice to have the attentions of the anon. He was vaguely wary about it being some sort of online predator, but then that was fading with every conversation they held.

John also found that his blog was gaining more attention, which he thought odd, but he knew had to do with the anon. He was getting asks from both anonymous and known blogs.

Things such as:

_Anonymous:_

_Seriously, That anon and you. When’s the wedding?_

 

_Anonymous:_

_What is up with the two of you? I can feel the sexual tension through my computer screen._

_woman-versus-world:_

_Oh my god! I don’t usually ship things. But blimey the two of you are possibly the cutest thing I’ve seen. Besides the fact that you’re polar opposites. But something about opposites attract right?_

That last one was a usual. It started off with that, and continued with more asks. She started almost adding into John and the anon’s conversations though John only posted some of her asks, only the ones he felt like he could or should answer.

He wondered how the anon felt about this attention. He knew he blushed at some of the comments. He didn’t post most of them, filtering through the ones he actually felt okay to answer. And then there was Greg, who had dismissed the anon when John first mentioned him, and was now encouraging the others’ comments. He even whistled at some of the more graphic ones.

John was even impressed by a fanart that had been submitted by someone, of the anon and him. He wasn’t sure which of them was supposed to be which. He posted it though, a picture of a blonde girl and a tall brunette man. And after that he got another, of two girls. It was an interesting thought, and made him a bit more aware that he wasn’t at all sure of the other’s gender, though he didn’t let it bug him for long before he blushed at another comment and continued.

He realized at one point that it was easy to pick out /his/ anon. And not just because the others were usually something about shipping the two of them, but also just the way she wrote, it was definitely different than most.

By the end of the week he found himself wondering more and more about whether or not he’d ever actually meet her. He was hoping he would. He didn’t know how long he could go on like this without meeting her. He was becoming more and more attached as it was.

\----------------------------------

_Anonymous:_

_I don’t understand all the pointless drivel about two people conversing. And I’m not even sure which person is supposed to be which in any of those drawings. I can assure you and them that I look like none of them and that they should find a better use of their time._

_bonds-companion:_

_I actually find it amusing. And the art is quite good actually. Despite us not looking like any of them. They’re still fascinating. Though I will put out there for future reference that I am in fact male, for anyone who cares._

_woman-versus-world:_

_Oh anon, get over yourself. It’s all in fun and games. Besides, I’m sure you’re just hiding behind that outer shell of yours. You’re probably flattered and just don’t want bonds-companion to know about it. ;)_

_bonds-companion:_

_I honestly have no answer to that, but I thought it deserved a post, just for the anon to see if nothing else. Not that I think…. Anyway._

_Anonymous:_

_Of course you don’t think. I’m starting to see that no one has the ability to think. Me, flattered? I can assure you I’m not. You do realize you’re playing with people’s lives do you not? And I don’t get flattered by people ‘shipping’ me with someone._

_bonds-companion:_

_I’m not sure whether or not to be offended. I think she’s right about the hiding part. You are getting rather defensive. It’s just a bit of fun. No one’s trying to play with your life. What happens here is honestly only up to the two of us._

_Other Anonymous:_

_It’s alright anon. Don’t get upset. bonds-companion is obviously here for you, no matter what anyone else says, and that’s all you want isn’t it?_

_bonds-companion:_

_Can’t tell if that’s innocent or not… but I thought I’d post it anyway._

_[sent privately]:_

_cutesy-cats-loves:_

_You’re getting quite the publicity. How’s that for you? I can tell you you’re right about your anon.  They don’t seem all that upset about it. I mean, they pretend to be, even in front of me. And they definitely seem put out about certain comments, especially the drawings. You should have seen their face when they saw the one of you two as an otter and a hedgehog. I think my life is now complete for just having seen that._

_bonds-companion:_

_I don’t mind the publicity. I mean, it’s nice to be noticed, I guess. I’m getting some comments about my blog as well, which is nice and I don’t mind being shipped with the anon._

_I’m honestly jealous you get to see their face at all. Don’t tell them I said that. But I can definitely imagine that a put out expression would be their forte. I actually quite enjoyed that drawing, as amusing as it was. I think I do actually look similar to that hedgehog. Tell me, do they remind you of an otter at all?_


	6. Misunderstandings

John had spent almost the full weekend on tumblr, barely leaving his room. Greg had texted him at one point on Saturday and then came over to get him outside but they ended up not leaving John’s room. John forced him to sign up for a tumblr account, and Greg promised he’d never do anything with it. Sunday John had been thrilled to see that Greg had a few posts on his blog after all, not many but even one was enough to make John cackle almost evilly.

He had stayed up most of Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. There had been more comments from different blogs and John had fun answering quite a few of them. But most of his time was spent chatting with both his anon and with cutesy-cats-loves.

Monday morning John made his way to school feeling exhausted but happy. His bruise was a week old and fading nicely so he spent more of his time looking up and greeting people. He closed his locker and turned around almost running into a tall boy who looked at first looked like he was going to ignore him, but then his eyes flickered to John’s bruise.

John felt his face heat up at the look of some sort of comprehension lit up the boy’s face. Before the boy could say anything John turned and walked quickly away, only calming down once he reached the classroom. That boy saw his bruise and knew. He knew what happened to John, or at least suspected. John sat at his desk and placed his hands in his face. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He tried to think about whether he knew the boy. He looked vaguely familiar, but mostly just the sort of familiar where you know you’ve seen someone before because you go to the same school or something. He didn’t actually know the boy and had no idea if the boy would do something or say something about his bruise.

After calming down, he realized he was overreacting. There was no way the boy could have known for sure how he got the bruise. It was probably a look of concern and he misinterpreted it. And even if he was suspicious, John had his story, and Greg would back him up. He had nothing to worry about. He let himself slowly go back to his happy mood just as class started and by the end of the day had completely forgotten about the incident.

\-------------------------------------------

Sherlock stared after the blond boy. His face going from recognition of the bruise to shock and recognition of the person. This was his blogger. He watched him flee from him and let his eyes wander over his hand-me-down clothes and cheap bag to his shoes that were not quite obviously female to anyone who didn’t observe, but Sherlock knew they belonged to a sister at one point. And the bruise he had seen… there was no question. His blogger went to his school. He doesn’t know if he’s ever seen him before but he didn’t need to. In fact the only reason he didn’t skip classes completely was because of his idiot brother who would keep him from the internet.

He sat in class after class, not paying attention at all. He spent his time in his mind palace instead. He saw his blogger. His blogger went to school with him. His blogger also ran when he saw him. Why did he run? Did he recognize Sherlock as well? Sherlock felt himself panic slightly. That was what happened. Why wouldn’t he recognize him, after all Sherlock had recognized bonds-companion.

But then Sherlock was different, and Sherlock had more information to go on than bonds-companion had of an anon. But his reaction definitely fit having recognized him and panicked at seeing a boy when he expected a girl. He scoffed at himself, knowing he was a fool to ever have started the conversations with him in the first place.

Halfway through the school day, having come to that conclusion, he left. It was always easy to escape the prison of a school. He went home straight away, knowing Mycroft wouldn’t be home straight away and that it didn’t matter anyway, he would know Sherlock wasn’t at school.

He got on the computer, knowing full well it’d probably be the last time for at least a day once Mycroft dealt with him. He stared at John’s blog for a long while, not scrolling, just thinking. He clicked the ask button several times, each time cancelling it. He had no idea what to say. He thought about apologizing for being male. But that sounded pathetic and sentimental.

He sighed and gave up, deciding a clean break was best. He’d stop sending messages altogether. Bonds-companion knew who he was now. He probably wouldn’t respond anyway. And there was no reason that Sherlock would see him in school, as he hadn’t seen him before. He closed his computer a bit more violently than he intended, but didn’t care.

He spent hours between sitting and pacing the room, in his mind palace the whole time. Mycroft found him during one of his pacing moments. He merely raised an eyebrow before speaking “Caring is not an advantage.” It infuriated Sherlock. He knew that, and besides that he hated how Mycroft always seemed to know, or at least made it seem like he knew. Sherlock knew he often grasped at straws, but they usually had enough resemblance to the actual issue that most were fooled into thinking he read minds. Sherlock knew better but still hated how nearly accurate he always was. He also hated his superiority complex and was in no state to deal with it.

“Piss off.” He growled, not looking at him as he paced, not slowing down either. He kicked at the bedpost and was secretly glad that he missed before he turned in his pacing.

Mycroft stood in the doorway, unmoved. “Stop acting so childish. You have detention again, and I do hope you plan on going this time, or I will take further action.” He said calmly.

Sherlock almost snarled as he spun to face him. “What will you do?! There’s nothing you can do that will affect me!” Mycroft raised an eyebrow again as if to say ‘we both know that to be false.’ Sherlock huffed and turned away again. “You can do whatever you want to me. You already do, so why limit yourself. Now get out.”

Mycroft continued watching him, completely unimpressed. He sighed dramatically. “You will be your own downfall. Stop with the strop, it gets tiresome.” He then added before glancing out the window. “And your…/friend/ will be at the door in a moment. I’d prefer if I didn’t have to answer it.”

Sherlock’s eyes widened and he turned toward the window expecting to see the blond boy. He felt himself crumple when his eyes met the feminine figure of Molly. He then berated himself for being so open. He risked a glance at Mycroft to see him give a knowing look before leaving the room. Sherlock threw himself on the bed in a mild tantrum.

He hated how affected he was.  He hated the disappointment that boiled in him at the sight of Molly, and even worse the thought that bonds-companion could have shown up at his place. It’s not like he knew where he lived. He groaned lightly as the door opened to emit Molly.

Molly gave a timid smile even though Sherlock wasn’t looking at her. She knew something had happened to make Sherlock miss school. He’d been an almost perfect student since the last time Mycroft took away his internet and Molly knew why. But then half-way through classes he’d disappeared. Molly admitted she was a bit worried.

“Hey.” She said softly, closing the door and walking over to the bed. Sherlock didn’t bother asking how Mycroft reacted when he had to answer the door again. “You want to talk about it?” She asked, sitting next to him but not touching. All she got in response was a huff of air. She sighed. “Well throwing a fit isn’t going to solve anything. So fine. If you want to play games, I’ll play.” She took a deep breath, wishing for patience, before speaking again “Is this to do with bonds-companion?”

She took the sigh as a yes and continued. “Alright… is it.. um.. I don’t know, did he ask to know who you are again? I know he hasn’t done that since the beginning.. but.. maybe?” She asked. Sherlock almost laughed in response. If only that was the problem, but then he still had the issue of being a man. He buried his face in his pillow. Molly sighed this time. “Come on Sherlock. You have to give me something to go on.”

Sherlock mumbled something incoherent into his pillow, making Molly roll her eyes at his petulance. “Yeah. I hope you didn’t expect me to understand any of that.” She muttered back. Sherlock let out a long drawn out sigh and sat up, almost glaring at her. “I said I saw him. And none of it matters. He knows I’m a boy now. He hates me. Not that I expected anything different, or care for that matter.” At her raised eyebrow he almost snarled for the second time that day. “I don’t. He’s nothing to me but a blog. He was an interesting experiment. Nothing more.” He huffed, curling up on himself, back toward Molly.

Molly sighed softly. She wasn’t good with comforting people. She lifted her hand to pat his shoulder before stopping with it in the air awkwardly. She wasn’t sure he’d want to be touched. Would that be awkward? Would not doing anything be awkward? She finally pulled her hand away deciding that holding her hand in midair was definitely awkward if nothing else. She placed her hands in her lap and bit her lip. “I.. well.. I’m sorry.. I told you, you should tell him. But you know.. maybe it will be alright once it sinks in, yeah?” She asked, staring at the back of his head as she played with her fingers.

Sherlock didn’t reply. He just laid there. Molly sighed again and stood. “Right.. well, I have to go, I wasn’t supposed to come today but you seemed like you needed it. Sorry I was wrong.” She said quietly, before leaving.

When Sherlock finally turned around to say something to her, she was gone. He let out a sigh and let his head fall backward, finding his pillow again, now laying on his back as he dealt with petty emotions.


	7. Distance

Sherlock couldn’t believe his luck. It’d been a week since he first saw bonds-companion, and it seemed he’s seen him multiple times a day since then. He seemed to show up everywhere now that Sherlock knew what to look for. He had hoped he would just disappear completely. Sherlock still checked John’s blog daily, but he never sent any more asks. He refused to, partially because he believed bonds-companion wanted nothing to do with him, and partially because he felt like he was too attached and needed to distance himself. Sentiment was a chemical defect found on the losing side.

Molly continued to pester him with questions, but he didn’t answer. He did get her to promise she wouldn’t write any more asks either. Or rather he demanded she not converse with him. She rolled her eyes and sighed plenty of times during that conversation, but he felt certain that she would do as suggested.

Meanwhile, Sherlock had to figure out how to deal with seeing the boy around almost every corner in school. He didn’t even react when he saw Sherlock, more than a wary glance the first few times. It seemed that bonds-companion was convinced Sherlock wouldn’t try to talk to him and was set at ease.

Monday brought Molly to his house once again, though she now just entered without knocking, which was better for everyone involved. He tried to stay off of tumblr when Molly was present, not wanting her looks or comments. But she sighed and took over his computer going to bonds-companions blog for him. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes widened at the first post he saw.

_bonds-companion:_

_Anon? I wish I knew your blog, if anything just to make sure you’re alright. It’s just been a while since you’ve sent me anything and seeing as my blog is the only access to communication with you, I thought I’d try this way. Just tell me you’re alright. I miss your teasing comments and annoying banter. So send me another ask soon, yeah?_

 

Molly glanced at him. “I thought you said he wanted nothing to do with you now that he knew?” She asked softly. Sherlock didn’t answer, his mind was whirring, trying to find an explanation. It didn’t make sense. Why would bonds-companion act the way he did at school and then post something online about him missing him? He shook his head and went to close his computer, but Molly’s hand on his wrist stopped him. “Wait.” She said softly before turning the computer toward herself.

Molly quickly logged him out and logged into her own blog and sure enough she had an ask from bonds-companion.

_bonds-companion:_

_Hey.. you haven’t spoken to me in a while.. well since the anon has. Is everything alright? Have I done something to offend either or both of you? I miss talking to you both… Just.. tell me you’re both alright, please?_

 

Molly went to respond but this time Sherlock stopped her. “No.” He said. “Leave it. He’s sent his worries. He won’t bother anymore. Let it go.” He said quietly. Molly turned toward him, a glare in place, ready to berate him for being an idiot. The expression on his face stopped her. He seemed so defeated, something she’s never seen. She bit her lip and shook her head. “Sherlock.. I think.. I think you should talk to him. Maybe go off anon. You need to talk to him. He obviously misses you. And I’m not sure he knows who you are.. are you sure?” She asked, kindly.

Sherlock rolled his eyes at her attempts. “Yes I’m sure. I’m always sure. He knows. He was there, he saw me. He ran.” He said stubbornly.

“And now you’re running?” She asked softly, a rhetorical question. “Sherlock. Maybe he has some sort of explanation… You could try to talk to him at school maybe.” Sherlock huffed a laugh in response. “Yes. Where he pretends I don’t exist? Yeah. Definitely going to do that.” He mumbled. He logged her out of tumblr and then closed the laptop. “You should go. Your parents will be waiting for you.” He stood and moved over to his bed, throwing himself on it pathetically.

Molly sighed softly and stood, grabbing her bag and walking to the door. “Just… don’t give up Sherlock. You obviously care a lot for the boy.” She closed the door and started down the stairs when she heard a soft response. “That’s the problem.”

\--------------------------------------

John felt like banging his head on the desk. He still had no response from either his anon or the anon’s friend. He didn’t know what to think. Did he do something wrong? Were they hurt? Did something happen? He didn’t know. He hated that he didn’t know. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to get in touch with the anon. He spent hours looking through cutesy-cats-loves blog, hoping it would give him some sort of info, anything to be able to get in touch with either of them. But there was nothing.

He felt like pulling his hair out. He didn’t even know why he was so upset. It had only been a week. People had lives right? He wouldn’t know. He sighed. And the fact that both had disappeared without a word, that worried him. But then he checked the blog of cutesy-cats-loves and found that she still posted even though she didn’t try to talk to him or answer his asks. There had to be something that was wrong. He just didn’t know how to fix it.

He scrolled through tumblr a bit before he decided it had lost most of its appeal for the moment. He closed his laptop and set it on the floor next to his bed. He sighed when he heard the sounds from downstairs. They started as muffled voices before growing louder and louder. He grabbed his pillow and covered his face with it, telling himself he wasn’t going to be involved this time.

He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ignore everything. He lasted all of five minutes before he was running down the stairs at the sound of something crashing.

Later he returned to his room, slowly. He was glad that it wouldn’t be visible, as long as he hid the pain. Just a bruised rib, he told himself. It wasn’t bad. Maybe it wouldn’t even hurt in the morning.

He barely sat on his bed, wincing more at the pain. So maybe it was a bit more than bruised. But it couldn’t be too bad, right? He was still able to move, so he was fine. He finally decided that he couldn’t stay there and texted Greg to meet him at the school. He’d never put Greg in the position of coming over when his father was home.

On second thought, it probably wasn’t a good idea to test his limits when walking to the school. He was relieved he was able to slip out of the house without his father knowing. But then he had to walk the distance to the school, and while it wasn’t too long, his rib was giving him more pain than it was worth. He almost gave up and headed back. But he needed to talk to someone, or at the very least just be out of that house for a bit.

Greg was already there when he got there. Greg’s eyes widened a bit when he saw the way John was walking. He sighed softly and shook his head. “John..” John raised a hand to stop him from speaking. He didn’t need another rant about how he should stop getting involved. “Just leave it.” He muttered.

Greg nodded, begrudgingly. “Alright. So what did I do to you this time?” He asked, wanting to get the story straight.

John shook his head. “Nothing. I’ll have the pain under control by tomorrow. No one will know.” He said, not quite looking at Greg, so he didn’t get to see his skeptical expression. John ran a hand over his face. “Look. I know you want to tell me once again that it’s my fault for getting involved. But I know you Greg. You wouldn’t stay out of it either, if it was your family.”

Greg huffed. “My family? I just have my mum. And she’s a bit mad. Not like your dad. More of the absent kind. She lost her husband and apparently that was her whole life. Me? I’m nothing to her.” He said, barely able to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

John bit his lip. “Yeah.. I know. I’m.. I’m sorry. But you know… You’d still do anything for your mum. Wouldn’t you?” He asked, finally looking at him. Greg stared at him before nodding. “Yes. God help me, I would.” He muttered. “Alright. So why did you want to meet then? I figured you’d want to talk to your anon. Or has she still not gotten in touch?” He asked.

John sighed and shook his head. “No. I don’t know what I did wrong. We spent the entire weekend talking to each other and then she just disappeared. It’s been a week. I thought maybe something was wrong or that she was just busy. But then her friend hasn’t spoken to me either. And she still posts on her blog.”

Greg frowned. “Well.. what about that.. thing. What’s it called. A queue?” He asked. “Still knew to the thing. Not exactly sure. But can’t that post while you’re gone? Maybe they’re just on a trip together or something…” He said. John shrugged. “I suppose it could be.” He replied. “I just feel like an idiot, you know? Like… this is what I get for getting attached to someone I’ve never met or seen. And on top of that. It’s not like I’m allowed to have anything good.”

Greg rolled his eyes. “Don’t do the self-pity crap. It doesn’t suit you John. Besides, I resent the fact that you don’t see me as something good in your life. Having me as a best friend is the best thing you could possibly ask for.” He grinned at him, causing John to chuckle softly and shove him lightly, only to wince in pain. They both sobered a bit. Greg sighed. “Look John. Just.. Don’t give up. Alright? Maybe they just need time or something. Maybe they’re worried like you are. About how attached they are, or something. They’re anon for a reason. Maybe they’re scared about something. Just give them time. And keep trying to talk to the friend. Since it’s at least private.”

He paused a moment before continuing on the other subject. “And as to your father. Maybe you should just stay away from home more often. You know you’re welcome at my home. If only because my mum doesn’t care what I do.”

John nodded. “Yeah.. I’ll think about it.” He said quietly. “Can we just chat about nothing for a bit before I head home again. Not quite ready for that at the moment. And I think we’ve had enough of the serious chat.” He muttered.

Greg chuckled softly and nodded. “Sure thing.” He said, before starting an argument about which football team was the best. It was always the best way to ensure John’s distraction.


	8. Socializing? Do I have to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance for the short chapter. <3   
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late the next day when Molly finally made her way to Sherlock’s place. Sherlock pretended not to care, but he huffed out a “You’re later than usual,” which made Molly smile. She shrugged off her bag. “Didn’t know you waited for me.” She said with a grin. “But anyway. I had to work on an assignment with people.”

Sherlock tried not to pout. “An assignment? I thought I was your partner.” He said, sounding put out. Molly chuckled. “Aww. I didn’t realize how much you enjoyed my partnership. But we’re not in all the same classes. We didn’t finish. So we’ll probably be meeting again.” She only grinned more as Sherlock’s pout grew. “Oh don’t worry. You’re still my favorite partner.” She teased, moving to take her usual seat next to Sherlock at the desk.

He scoffed. “I only work with you because you’re marginally better than the rest of the idiots. And you are aware that you were never actually invited here. You don’t have to come.“ He muttered, petulantly. Molly rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh sure. Well, just because I can, I’ll come anyway, invited or not.” She grinned at him. “So… any new developments with you know who?” She asked.

He shook his head. “No. Of course not.” He muttered. Molly sighed but nodded. “Of course not.” She repeated. “Well. You should talk to him. Or I could talk to him and..” She shut up at the look Sherlock gave her. “Or not..” She said softly. “Right. Fine.”

They sat there for a while, browsing tumblr in comfortable silence, before Molly’s phone went off. She pulled it out of her bag and smile at the text.

We were thinking about ordering pizza on Friday when we meet up again for the assignment. Are you in? You could invite someone if you wanted. We don’t really have much to go over. I can provide beer or whatever too. It’ll be easy to acquire. GL

Molly chuckled. “Hey Sherlock. Want to go somewhere with me. For pizza?” She asked, with a smile, while texting.

I’m in. The only person I have to invite isn’t likely to come though. He’s not one for social things. xMolly

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “No. Why would I want to subject myself to that?” He muttered. Molly shook her head with a smile. “Because you’re grumpy and need time out of your room, that’s not school. Come on. You don’t have to stay long, if you don’t want. It’s on Friday. Please?” She asked with her biggest smile.

“No.” He answered, not even looking at her. She sighed and looked down at a new text.

But social things are what keep us alive! Trick him into coming or something. I’m sure he won’t regret it. Not that we’ll be doing much. Just finishing the assignment, and then eating pizza, watching a film. He doesn’t even have to socialize much if he doesn’t want to. I just thought it’d be fun to have more people. GL

Molly sighed softly. “Please? Just go with me? I can give you something in return… what would you want?” She asked, hoping it’d be something easy she could get.

He raised an eyebrow. “Anything?” He asked. She rolled her eyes. “I’d be an idiot to say yes. So no. Tell me first and then we’ll see if we have a bargain.” Molly almost laughed at his expression. It was something between disappointment and approval and just looked very odd on his face.

 Sherlock hummed thoughtfully. “Then I want… to be able to use you in an experiment of some sort.” He said. “You’ll be able to approve the experiment of course.” He added at her dubious expression. She frowned a bit before nodding. “Fine. I have no idea what you’re thinking of, but fine. As long as I get to approve it.” She said, before sending another text.

I got him to come. He probably will be a menace to deal with though. Just to warn you. He’s not like most people. xMolly

Great! And that’s fine! We’ll break him in. ;) GL

Molly laughed and just grinned at Sherlock. “Meet me after School on Friday and we’ll head right over there.” Sherlock nodded, though it looked like he was in a lot of pain at the thought of going.

\--------------------------------------

John sent a few more asks to cutesy-cats-loves during the week. He thought maybe he’d eventually get her to respond. He didn’t know what to think. He was hurt and upset, wondering what he could have done wrong that didn’t even deserve an explanation.

Greg kept telling him that it didn’t matter one way or the other. If his anon replied eventually, she’d likely have a good excuse. If not, then it was a good fun, which is easy for him to say. John felt like something was wrong with him. He didn’t even know her. For all he knew it wasn’t even a girl, and yet John still felt more attached to the person than he’s ever felt before.

Of course, that brought on the thought of what if it was a man and what he would have done in that case. He usually pushed those thoughts away, not really wanting to deal with them, and now deciding they didn’t matter anyway since the person wouldn’t even talk to him anymore.

He still had asks from other people. Some of them were nice, some of them were painful, making the whole situation worse. But it was still nice to see that people cared, he supposed.

_Anonymous:_

_Hey where’s your anon? Why aren’t you posting things from them anymore? Did they leave you? Was it a terrible breakup?_

_woman-versus-world:_

_Hey! Don’t give up! I’m still shipping you two. I bet they just got scared off by the intensity of their feelings. They’ll find you again. Just you wait and see._

_Anonymous:_

_That anon is a jerk for leaving you like that. We’re all here for you! :D_

 

One day he was ecstatic to find a response from the anon’s friend. It wasn’t very helpful, but at least it was something.

_cutesy-cats-loves:_

_I’m really sorry for not having replied sooner. It’s just.. well the anon is in a state of sorts. I think you both just need time to understand the circumstances and get used to what you’ve discovered and then maybe everything will be alright…. I’m sorry I probably won’t reply again. They wouldn’t be too happy with me for it._

 

John stared at the response, not sure how to respond. He wasn’t really sure what she was talking about. What circumstances? What had they discovered? John frowned more. Perhaps they learned something about John they didn’t like. John sighed, of course they did. He ran a hand over his face. This was a lot more complicated than he had originally thought. Perhaps it was better that they were done communicating.


	9. Return of the anon

Friday came around and left Sherlock hoping that Molly had forgotten about his agreement to go. He was sure it would be dull and he’d end up insulting anyone present and possibly upset Molly as well and then he’d go home and be alone like usual, which he preferred, of course.

Unfortunately Molly kept reminding him throughout the school day to meet her after classes, so Sherlock didn’t even have the excuse that he had forgotten. He decided that didn’t matter and she’d get over it when he didn’t show. He hurried out after classes and groaned audibly when Molly was already out front waiting for him with a knowing smile. “Ready?” She asked, making him grumble incoherently and nod before following her away from his usual bus and down the road.

“It’s not far from here so we can walk.” She said with a smile. “We’ll take the long way to make sure they get there first.” She added, leading him down the streets. He stayed silent, throwing a miniature tantrum at his plans being thwarted time and time again by this rather clever girl.

Sherlock sighed loudly when Molly knocked on the door of a modest home. The door opened to a boy he remembered vaguely from school. He was of little importance. Greg smiled at the two. “Hey. Glad you two could make it. Sorry mate, the beginning might be a bit boring while we finish up the assignment. But hey you can make yourself at home. No one is home.” He said, smile wavering only a bit at the end.

Sherlock raised an eyebrow. “Of course no one is home. Your father is dead and your mother sees you as a reminder of said fact so she tries not to be around you much.” He muttered, making Greg’s eyes widen and Molly blush. “Sherlock..” She said quietly, starting to reprimand him. Greg shook his head. “nah. It’s fine. Spot on, by the way. But you might want to keep your knowledge to yourself. It’s not always going to be taken kindly.” He said, smoothly ignoring all comments Sherlock made about his family. He let them in and closed it behind him, sighing softly and trying to forget what was said.

Sherlock rolled his eyes but followed Molly inside and to the sitting room. He saw a blonde head sitting on the sofa and frowned a bit as it seemed familiar. The boy stood and turned around a kind smile already in place. “Hey Molly. Hi…” His smile flickered slightly before being replaced. “Um.. Hey. I’m John.” He said, holding out a hand hesitantly.

Sherlock stared at him, not sure what to do. This was bonds-companion, and it was obvious that Molly had no idea. But beyond that, it didn’t seem like bonds-companion actually knew either. He definitely wasn’t acting like he had. He swallowed and took the hand, heart pounding. “Sherlock.” He said quietly, earning an arched eyebrow from Molly.

It took another pointed look from Molly before he realized he hadn’t let go of John’s hand. John. His name was John. He had a name for his blogger. The blogger who didn’t run away because he realized his anon was a boy. He found himself grinning madly for a moment before immediately resuming an unimpressed expression.

He found himself sitting next to John as John, Molly and Greg worked on their assignment. He threw in a few comments about how their work was limited and showed how small minded they were. He mostly spent his time analyzing John, learning as much as he could about him. He also knew that as soon as he was home he’d be sending a new ask to John. He smiled at the thought and earned a raised eyebrow from John “you’re staring.” He said quietly as the other two debated over an answer to one of their questions.

Sherlock stared for a moment longer gathering his thoughts before quickly speaking. “I was merely trying to figure out whether or not your rib is still bothering you. Your father is obviously still up to his tricks. I’m guessing your sister upset him once again?” He watched John’s visage pale a bit, before Sherlock continued. “And playing football yesterday couldn’t have helped your rib. I’ve also observed that you plan on joining the army in order to become a doctor since you couldn’t afford it otherwise.” He added.

John blinked slowly. “You.. how did you know all of that?” He asked quietly, staring at him. Sherlock shrugged. “It’s obvious. From the bruise that is pretty much gone and the way you were walking a bit off, favoring your ribs a bit. And your hand-me down clothes showing you can’t afford uni. Though the way you’ve taken care of your wounds along with some of the classes you’re taking, going by the books sticking out of your bag, leads me to believe you want to be a doctor. Then there’s the army brochure in your bag as well. So, army to become a doctor. Simple.” He said, almost disinterestedly, while watching him intensely, waiting for his reaction.

John stared at him for a moment, before shaking his head slightly. “That… that’s brilliant!” He breathed, slowly beginning to smile. Sherlock felt himself melt slightly, and return the smile. “That’s not what people usually say.” He said softly. John raised an eyebrow. “Well what do they normally say then?” He asked.

Sherlock smirked lightly. “Piss off.”

John laughed heartily, causing the other two to look up with interest. Sherlock couldn’t help it, John’s laugh was contagious, causing him to laugh too.

Looking at the others’ faces only caused them to laugh harder, leaning toward each other a bit, before they finally calmed down. John cleared his throat “Right.. well.. um.. How far did you guys get?” He asked, leaning toward them to look at the assignment, ignoring their confused expressions. Sherlock glanced away and decided to ignore them while they finished their assignment. This was definitely turning out differently than he had expected. He couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as he sat their trying not to look at John. Maybe things weren’t so bad.

\-----------------------------------

John sat between Greg and Sherlock with Molly on the other side of Greg on the sofa while they watched a film. John usually loved the film, Die Hard. But he found it even better with Sherlock muttering in his ear about the inaccuracies of the film and the plot holes.

John couldn’t stop laughing which earned glares from Greg who was otherwise entranced by the film. Molly on the other hand didn’t stop looking at them suspiciously, which John didn’t understand.

John heard the doorbell ring and knew from experience it would be almost impossible to pull Greg’s attention from the telly long enough to get him to pay for the ordered pizza. He rolled his eyes and grabbed his wallet, looking almost sadly at the couple of bills in it, before he felt a hand on his own. He looked up to see Sherlock smile and shake his head before heading to the door. He followed slowly behind him to watch Sherlock pay the pizza guy and take the pizza.

John blushed as Sherlock approached again. “Thanks.” He said softly, a warm feeling in his chest that he decided to ignore. He took the pizza from it and laid it on the coffee table. He watched in amusement as Greg reached for a piece without ever taking his eyes off of the film. Molly covered her mouth with a hand as she giggled before reaching for a piece as well.

John shrugged at Sherlock before taking his seat again and holding out a slice for Sherlock who shook his head. “I’m not hungry.” He replied, making John frown. “You couldn’t have eaten since lunch..” He replied.

Sherlock shrugged. “I don’t eat lunch. School food is atrocious and I fancy myself to die of something more interesting than food poisoning.”

John laughed. “Fair enough, but that means you have to be even hungrier. Tell me you’ve at least had breakfast.” He raised an eyebrow when Sherlock stayed silent. He held the piece of pizza even closer toward him, nearing his mouth. He grinned. “Come on… Everyone likes pizza! And you paid for it.. for which I promise to pay you back.”

Sherlock frowned. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course you’re not going to pay me back. I refuse to let you.”

John found himself smiling more. “Alright. We’ll make a deal. I won’t pay you back.. if you eat this.” He waved the slice in front of Sherlock’s face getting a bit of sauce on Sherlock’s nose causing him to pout and John to laugh. Sherlock finally took the slice. “Fine.” He said, wiping the sauce off his nose before he nibbled at it with a petulant expression.

John grinned and reached for his own slice and ate it slowly, fighting the urge to keep glancing at Sherlock. He shook his head trying to make sense of it, before letting himself get into the end of the film, not noticing Molly’s intense gaze on the two of them the whole while.

\--------------------------------

Molly’s gaze didn’t leave the two for long through the rest of the time. She tried to keep quiet as Sherlock and Molly left, making their way down the streets. She was so engulfed in her own thoughts she wasn’t really sure where they were going.

She hummed lightly glancing at Sherlock every once in a while before he sighed and looked at her. “What is it?” He asked. She shrugged. “Oh… nothing. Nothing at all…” She giggled softly before shaking her head. “Alright. Who is he? I mean.. I know who John is. But it’s like you’ve met him before or something… you know?” She asked.

Sherlock looked away. “I sort of have.” He replied. “You don’t use your eyes do you?” He asked, still not looking at her.

She rolled her eyes at the insult. “I’ve realized you get defensive when you feel something too close to home. So what is it? Who is he to you?” She asked.

He huffed at the insinuation before muttering. “bonds-companion.” Molly’s eyes widened. “Seriously? John is bonds-companion?!” She asked. “Does he know?”

Sherlock rolled his eyes this time. “Does he know he’s bonds-companion? I’m sure he’s aware, unless he’s even less observant than you, and let me tell you that’s quite the feat.”

Molly sighed. “Oh shut up. You know what I mean. Does he know you’re his anon?”

“Of course not.” He said sharply. “He wouldn’t have looked at me twice if he knew.”

Molly bit her lip. “I don’t think that’s true. Did you see the way he looked at you. And the way the two of you reacted? It was adorable. You’re really gone on him aren’t you.” Sherlock made a face but didn’t say anything. Molly smiled softly at him. “It’s cute. I think you two would be good for each other.”

Sherlock pouted. “I am not cute.” He muttered. “We’re here. Now go before you say something more ridiculous.”

Molly frowned and looked up, realizing they made it to her place. She then looked at Sherlock and grinned even more. “Aww. You walked me home. You care about me.”

Sherlock made a face of distaste. “Of course I don’t. This was on my way home.” He muttered petulantly.

Molly giggled and shook her head. “No it’s not. It’s in the opposite direction of your home. Unless you got lost.”

Sherlock huffed. “I do not get lost.” Molly grinned. “Then you walked me home.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “Fine. I walked you home. It’s dark and I thought you’d get in trouble with your parents. Or something.” He mumbled. “I’m sorry for my mistake. It won’t happen again.” He turned and left without another word.

Molly grinned after him, not letting his brashness affect her. She thought this was a pretty good day after all.

\--------------------------------

John made it home with a smile on his face. He realized he hadn’t felt that good since the last time his anon had talked to him. He didn’t want to think about what it meant. He just figured he had a new friend. Though Molly and even Greg, his best friend, didn’t make him feel like Sherlock did. He shook his head trying to clear it.

He climbed on his bed, pulling his laptop onto his lap and decided he felt like blogging for the first time in a few days. He sighed as he went through the usual asks. He tried not to let them get him down until his heart almost stopped at the sight of one.

 

_Anonymous:_

_I do apologize for not communicating with you for so long. I do not have an excuse for it. And even if I did, I likely wouldn’t share it. But I will say that I am fine. Completely fine. And I appreciate your worry. Well.. I don’t like that you were worried, of course. Just the sentiment of it all I suppose…_

 

John felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment, before he was grinning like an idiot and responding quickly.

 

_bonds-companion:_

_Of course I wasn’t worried. Though if you do that again I will personally kick your bloody arse! But really. I’m glad you’re back.. Though.. You know.. would it kill you to tell me your blog so we didn’t have to have these conversations so publicly?_

 

Of course almost directly after that one he got another ask from a usual.

_Woman-versus-world:_

_Awww! Not only is the anon back, but bonds-companion wants some alone time. Isn’t that all sorts of sweet and romantic. I’m glad you got your anon back, mate. Be sure to tell us when you guys finally get together and all that. I don’t care if you guys are half across the world from one another. It has to happen._

 

John laughed at that, before frowning. He knew they weren’t half-way across the world from one another, but they could be across England. It was better than nothing he supposed. And then of course there was the problem of him going into the army. There wasn’t really a future for them no matter how he felt. And then what if it wasn’t a girl. What if it was a boy? That had his mind thinking about Sherlock, which had him blushing with the thought that he wouldn’t mind if the anon looked like him. He sighed and set his laptop aside again.

He had to discuss his questionable sexuality with Greg. And the fact that he had no idea what to do about the anon that he definitely had feelings for without ever having met them.


	10. Greg's in on it

Once again John spent the full weekend talking to his anon. He slept very little and didn’t really care. He really needed to talk to Greg. Greg had been busy all weekend but said they could talk on the way to school Monday morning. That was good for John anyway since he didn’t really want to give up time he could be online talking to his anon. He knew he was pathetic but he couldn’t help it, there was something about the anon that got to him and made him happier than he ever remembers being.

John hadn’t forgotten about Sherlock either though. He thought about talking to Greg about him too, or even the anon. See what the anon thought about it, but then he wasn’t sure how he felt about any of this, or even who made him happier, the anon or Sherlock. He hadn’t really spent enough time with Sherlock to know what he thought about him.

Monday morning John hurried through his usual routine, putting on whatever clothes he could grab and stuffing his homework in his bag. He hurried through the kitchen, grabbing bread and putting strawberry jam on two slices before he hurried out the door, eating them along the way.

Greg raised an eyebrow when John approached with half a slice of bread sticking out of his mouth. “Well that’s attractive.” He teased as John stuffed the rest in his mouth trying to gobble it down. “Well whatever you wanted to talk about must be important if you’re not savoring your precious jam.”

John rolled his eyes and swallowed the last bit. “It is.” He said before wiping his mouth. “I just.. I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Is this about the anon? I saw that she’s talking to you again.” He said with a smirk.

John blushed a bit. “Sort of.. It’s also about.. someone else. It’s just. I don’t even know the anon right. And for all I know they could be a guy. Or just not someone I actually get on with in reality right?” He asked, looking at Greg.

Greg raised an eyebrow a bit, but tried to follow John’s train of thought. “Alright… so what if it is a guy? Does that freak you out? With how attached you seem to him, I would think it wouldn’t matter.” He said, watching John carefully.

John looked at him a bit wide-eyed. “Would that.. I mean, shouldn’t it freak me out?”

Greg shrugged. “Don’t see why it should.”

John chewed his lip a bit. “Well, I don’t know. I’ve never been interested in a guy before. I’m straight. You know that.”

Greg shrugged again. “Perhaps. But you could fall for someone and not necessarily feel that way about them.. you know? And then you can grow to feel that way about someone.. So.. you’ve never felt that way about a guy then?” He asked, not unkindly.

John blushed again, causing Greg’s eyebrow to raise. “I… maybe.. I don’t know. It’s just.. Sherlock..” Greg’s eyebrow shot up even higher. “Sherlock? That bloke that came over to mine on Friday?”

John nodded, and looked away. “I’m not certain it’s anything. It’s just.. different… That’s what I wanted to talk about. Not that there’s really a point. He’s far out of my league even if it was something.”

Greg found himself laughing before trying to sober himself. “Sorry.. I’m not laughing at you, I swear. It’s just. The whole, there’s no point and he’s out of your league. First you’re acting like a child. And second it’s obviously something if you think that highly of him. I admit I didn’t really pay attention to you guys then. But maybe I’ll pay attention next time and see if there is anything.”

John’s eyes lit up a bit. “You think there will be a next time then?”

Greg smirked. “You know what? Nevermind. I don’t need to watch you guys, because there’s obviously something. You’re practically swooning at the thought of seeing him again, aren’t you?” He grinned at him. John rolled his eyes, but couldn’t get rid of the slight blush that had appeared on his cheeks. 

“Some friend you are.” He mumbled. “Right. Well one other thing.. How do I choose? I mean..” He blushed a bit more. “I’m not saying I feel that way about Sherlock.. but if I did. And then there’s the anon. But the likelihood of me meeting her..or him, is low and I don’t know if I want to get my hopes up and …” He trailed off at Greg’s pointed look. Greg sighed. “Honestly? I’d go for the tangible one. But what do I know? Maybe get to know them both more or something.. see where it takes you. Or even flirt with them both and see if either reacts.” John bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah.. alright.” He said quietly, as they approached the school.

John’s mind was whirling when he got to his locker. He turned and almost ran into someone. “I’m Sor…ry.” He said as he looked up into the face of Sherlock. He blushed a bit before smiling. “Oh hey… um.. sorry. A bit lost in my mind there.”

Sherlock smirked a bit. “I noticed. That would have been the second time you almost ran into me.” He said with a raised eyebrow. “Do you often run into people or is it just I that gets that privilege?”

John blushed a bit more and cleared his throat. “Yeah. Only you. The privilege is all yours.” He winked and walked away, hiding the pounding in his heart and the thought ‘I can’t believe I just did that’ running through his head, followed by the thought that he was definitely going to sit by Sherlock at lunch, if he could find him.

\----------------------

Sherlock couldn’t believe the day he was having. First he saw John first thing, and then John smiled at him and blushed. Sherlock thought he was in some sort of dream with the wink John gave him. But he convinced himself that John just acted like that with people. He made it clear he was straight, there was no reason for him to hit on Sherlock at all. But that didn’t stop Sherlock from enjoying the attention.

Sherlock spent the first few classes thinking about John, not that that was unusual, but he did get a few pointed glances from molly that he tried to ignore.

At lunch he headed toward his usual place, which was the chemistry lab where he did experiments rather than participate in the juvenile act of socializing.

He turned down a hall and saw John turn the other corner toward him and grin. “Hey! Sherlock! I was looking for you. I.. um.. well I wanted to know where you eat lunch. Since I haven’t seen you around the cafeteria or anything. I thought.. well.. um.. we could eat..together. God I sound like an idiot.” He muttered the last bit, not entirely aware he said it out loud, but causing Sherlock to smile nonetheless.

“I don’t eat.” He said, reluctantly. “Especially not the food they serve here.” He added.

John chuckled. “Ah. That’s right. Poison and all. Well I have home-lunch. Courtesy of my mother. I could share with you? Or.. well, what do you do anyway, since you don’t eat at lunch?”

Sherlock stared at him for a moment before answering. “I do experiments in the chemistry lab.” He replied. “And it wouldn’t be wise to eat in there.”

John frowned, but nodded. “Oh… right.. of course. Um.. sure. I’ll see you around then?” He asked, looking disappointed which caused Sherlock’s heart to twist a bit.

“We could always eat and then go to the lab. Assuming you’re interested in experiments.. Otherwise I could put my experiments off for the day..” He said softly, realizing he just wanted to get that smile back, and smiling himself when he succeeded.

“Yeah. That sounds great. Um.. We could snatch a table near the door so you don’t have to deal with everyone..” He led the way to the cafeteria and found Greg and Molly sitting together near the entrance. He grinned at them and sat, pulling out his packed lunch and starting to pull out half his sandwich for Sherlock.

Sherlock stared at it for a moment, not entirely sure he wanted to eat it, but one look at John’s expectant face had him taking the sandwich with a “thanks”, which of course caused Molly to look shocked before she bit her lip to keep from grinning like an idiot.

John beamed and shrugged. “No problem.” He answered before eating his own sandwich rather quickly, wanting to see what Sherlock did in the chemistry lab.

Sherlock hesitantly started eating his sandwich but found it wasn’t too bad, probably because John had given it to him. He tried to get the ridiculous thoughts from his mind, but wasn’t completely able to clear his head.

Both Sherlock and John finished their food with Molly and Greg watching rather intensely. Sherlock rolled his eyes and stood. “Coming?” He asked John, who grinned and nodded. “Of course.” He grabbed his trash and quickly made his way over to the trashcans before returning to Sherlock.

“So.. what do you do in the chemistry labs anyway? I mean.. what sort of experiments do you do?” He asked, glancing at Sherlock as they walked down the hall.

Sherlock started to answer before he was shoved closer to John by a girl with dark curly hair. “Watch out Freak!” She snarled before turning into the cafeteria. Sherlock rolled his eyes and turned to John to answer his question. He stared at John, taking in his slightly flushed face and clenching of his fists. He frowned. Was he upset because Sherlock almost bumped into him? That didn’t make sense, seeing as they’ve almost bumped into each other before and he didn’t seem upset.

His eyes widened almost imperceptively as he understood the answer. John was upset on his behalf. He was upset that someone shoved him and insulted him. Sherlock had to force himself not to grin at the thought. He cleared his throat. “Leave it. I’m used to it.” He said, turning and continuing down the hall.

John huffed. “You shouldn’t have to be used to it. She pushed you and then acted like it was your fault. I never had any issues with Sally before. But I swear..” He stopped when Sherlock turned around, standing in front of him with a smile and a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t realize you cared so much.” He said quietly.

John blushed. “I.. it’s just.. it’s common courtesy and all that.” He said, shifting his feet a bit, unable to look Sherlock in the eyes.

Sherlock continued smiling and started to take a step closer to John before rethinking that decision and taking a step back. “Well come on. You’ve delayed my experiment long enough.” He said instead and turned to head off toward the lab. Sentiment was not an advantage, he told himself.

\-----------------------

Molly watched them go, with a grin on her face. Greg shook his head after them before raising an eyebrow at Molly. “What is it?” He asked her. She chuckled softly and shook her head. “Nothing…” She said innocently, eating her own salad she had brought from home.

Greg continued looking at her, unconvinced by her innocence act which he was starting to get used to. Molly shrugged. “Nothing. Really. Just the two of them are amusing, that’s all.” She said, glancing at him. “Don’t you think?”

Greg huffed a laughed. “Amusing is one word for it.” Molly grinned. “And what’s another?” She asked.

Greg rolled his eyes, before biting into the slice of pizza from the cafeteria. “Ridiculous” He mumbled around his food, making Molly laugh again. “Perhaps. And a bit cliché in a not so cliché way, yes?” She asked, grinning at him, making his eyebrow raise again.

“What do you mean?” He asked. Molly shrugged. “Nothing. Just.. you know… nothing.” She said again, causing Greg to narrow his eyes a bit. “Talk.” He said, setting down his pizza like he was willing to stay here all day waiting for his answer.

Molly chewed slowly on a piece of chicken from her salad, debating what to say. She swallowed and looked at Greg. “Greg… do you by any chance have a tumblr?” She asked.

Greg’s eyes widened a bit and he nodded slowly, glancing around as if he didn’t want anyone else aware of that fact. “Yes. Why?”

Molly shrugged. “Just curious.. Because, well I have one.. and I know John has one. And Sherlock….. and… well we’ve been talking to John, that’s all.” She said, now staring at her salad.

Greg frowned a bit, watching her. “You’ve been talking to John on tumblr? John hasn’t told me about… oh my god. One of you is the anon?” He took a deep breath. “Please tell me it’s Sherlock, and that it’s not a joke, because I swear I will kick both your arses if I find out you’re playing with him.”

Molly’s eyes went a bit wide and she shook her head. “I swear it’s not a joke. Not at all. And yes, Sherlock’s John’s anon, but don’t tell him.. please, Sherlock isn’t ready for him to know…” She said softly. “But look at them both.. I think they’ll be ready soon, just not yet, yeah?” She said, pleading with her eyes.

Greg sighed, and leaned back in his chair. “Well fuck…” He said quietly. “I suppose that makes things easier for John. Just make sure he tells John before John goes mad.” He said, deciding not to elaborate on that. “But yeah.. I’m not altogether sure John’s ready to know… he’s getting there though.” He added.

Molly sighed in relief, and then gave Greg a smile. “Thanks. Sherlock really does care for John.. I’ve never seen him act like he does with John. I mean really. John can make him eat! That’s a miracle of itself.” She said, laughing softly.

Greg nodded. “Yeah.. John’s been acting the same. I mean.. the way he talks about both Sherlock and the anon.. I think he’ll be beyond ecstatic when he finally finds out it’s Sherlock. That is if he doesn’t punch me first for not telling him. Or punch all of us. I really hope he doesn’t take that route..” Molly giggled softly. “Yes.. that would be unfortunate.” She sighed softly, content at the moment with how things were working out for her friends, and hoping for them to only get better.


	11. Molly in the middle

_Anonymous:_

_I do apologize for not being able to give you my blog name. I fear you would be able to find who I am and I am not yet ready for that. I hope we can still continue this arrangement. I find I rather enjoy communicating with you._

_bonds-companion:_

_It’s no problem honest. I mean, I might be a bit disappointed but I enjoy communicating with you too. I don’t need to know who you are to enjoy talking to you, so of course we can continue. I was actually wondering if I could talk to you about … something a bit serious._

_woman-versus-world:_

_Oh my god! I’m glad to see you got your anon back! I knew they couldn’t stay away for long! Just drawn to you. ;)_

_bonds-companion:_

_Um… well, I’m glad they returned too. Though I think everyone is still romanticizing the whole thing. We’re just people like anyone else._

_Anonymous:_

_Serious? Should I be worried? Though you said we can continue, so I guess that’s not a problem. Yes, you can talk to me about anything.. Though I understand if you don’t want to say anything since this is public and anyone can see. I apologize again for not making it easier._

_bonds-companion:_

_It’s not a problem. I don’t care what anyone else says.. I just wanted to see what you thought about things. But yeah, this will probably start a whole new tirade of responses. I just.. Well the thing is, I don’t even know if you’re a boy or a girl, not that it matters. That’s not where I was going with this.. not really… only there’s the fact that.. well would it scare you away if I said I’m not really sure about my own sexuality? Again, this is totally irrelevant to you… this sounds bad.. I just.. I wanted to know if you had any advice, since you’re genius and seem to know everything…._

_cutesy-cats-love:_

_I’m really sorry about not talking to you previously. I kind of have to listen to my friend in this. Just because this is a sensitive topic and all. They don’t have many friends. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize your friendship._

_bonds-companion:_

_I understand. I’m actually glad you’re so loyal. I hope I don’t scare them away myself. They’re starting to mean a lot to me and I don’t even know them.. It’s difficult, but worth it._

 

_Anonymous:_

_Oh? No that doesn’t scare me away at all. I’m not certain what sort of advice you’re looking for. There’s not really any to give other than trying to learn who you are and ignore what anyone else says. Labels on sexuality are annoying more than helpful. You’re allowed to be attracted to anyone no matter their gender or the genders of the previous people you’ve been attracted to. People are idiots and will always tell you you’re wrong, just ignore them and know you’re better than most of them anyway._

_bonds-companion:_

_Thanks.. that’s actually quite helpful. And I think you just complimented me in there. It’s always interesting when you manage to do that. You don’t compliment often. I’m going to take it from your previous response that you’re not ready to tell me your gender yet, which is totally fine. I’m male, but you knew that already.._

\---------------------------

Greg walked with Molly and John toward Sherlock’s home. He couldn’t help but whistle at the sight of the home. “I knew he was well off, but damn.” He muttered, shaking his head as they made their way up the steps.

John chuckled softly at Greg’s reaction before turning to Molly. “You talked to him about this right? He said it was okay?” Molly smiled. “Of course…”

John raised an eyebrow but was cut off from saying more when Greg knocked on the door. Molly moved forward. “You don’t have to knock, they know…” The door opened before she answered, showing Mycroft. He sighed. “And now there’s more.” He muttered.

Greg grinned. “Hiya. Sorry. Is Sherlock home?”

Mycroft raised an eyebrow and nodded. “Unfortunately.” He responded, opening the door to emit them. Greg only grinned more. “Fantastic. And your home by the way, is fantastic. You’re his brother right?” He asked.

Mycroft looked shocked for a moment before controlling his face. “I wasn’t aware he spoke about me.”

Greg chuckled. “Oh. He hasn’t. You know him. I just figured it out on my own. Might as well start calling me a genius.” He grinned, causing John to roll his eyes and Mycroft to look at him almost amused.

Molly shifted a moment before turning to lead the way up the stairs. “Well, we’ll just be.. going up then…” John followed behind, but Greg stayed in front of Mycroft for the moment.

“What. Not even going to offer us tea or something?” He teased the man. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he was interested in making this man lose his outer shell.

Mycroft raised an eyebrow. “My apologies. Though your friends have gone up already. Did you want a cuppa?” He asked, watching the boy curiously.

Greg grinned. “No. It’s fine. I was just messing with you. You’re all uptight and in a suit and everything. Where do you even work?”

Mycroft huffed lightly, “I hold a minor position of the government. And I think your friends will be missing you if you don’t head up with them.”

Greg shrugged. “I suppose.. I’ll be seeing you later then.” He said before turning to head up the stairs, unaware of the bother’s eyes on him the whole while.

\-----------------------

Sherlock looked up when Molly entered and started to ignore her before he saw John enter behind her. He immediately shut his laptop, not wanting John to know he had a tumblr. He glanced at Molly. “What are you two doing here?” He asked.

John glanced at Molly as well. “So much for him knowing and not minding.” Molly grinned a bit sheepishly in response, before looking at Sherlock. “We started a study group for a class..” She started, causing Sherlock’s eyebrow to raise.

“I don’t share any classes with him.” He said, looking between them. Molly chewed her lip a bit, before Greg entered the room. “Or him.” Sherlock added.

Greg glanced between them all. “What’d I miss?” John rolled his eyes, sighing softly. “Molly never told him. Or asked him.” He stepped away to glance around Sherlock’s room, smiling a bit at the mess and the bits of experiments he saw on the desk near Sherlock’s laptop.

Sherlock smiled a bit as he watched John, before looking back at Molly. “Again. I don’t share a class with them.”

Molly nodded. “True.. but you took this class before…” She said quietly. Sherlock rolled his eyes. “Which means I’m not taking the class now.. so why are you meeting in my room?”

Molly cleared her throat. “Well… I figured we could use a tutor. And seeing as it’s a chemistry class, I thought you’d be the perfect person to go to. You probably got an A…”

“Obviously.” Sherlock replied, still staring at her. “However, I’m not interested in teaching you.” He added. Molly nodded. “Okay.. but you know.. I thought you wouldn’t mind helping..someone.” She said glancing at John, who was now reading the titles of the books on Sherlock’s shelf. Sherlock narrowed his eyes at her before she smiled innocently back at him.

He glared at her for a moment before rolling his eyes. “Fine. I’ll tutor you guys. But if you don’t keep up, I’m done.” He said.

Molly grinned and pulled out her book and notes. Greg chuckled and shook his head at Molly, before joining her on the bed.

Sherlock looked at John who was finished reading the titles and shook his head, smiling. “You would only have sciency books.” He said, glancing at Sherlock.

Sherlock shrugged. “I prefer books that actually teach something.” John chuckled. “I think there are plenty of literature books that teach things. They teach about society or different times in history, or how people react, etcetera. There’s lots to learn, you just have to pay attention.”

Sherlock raised an eyebrow. “I learn plenty. I think those novels you speak of are mostly romanticized and pointless. You can learn about the society and histories from less biased sources.”

John started to retort before Greg cleared his throat. “About that whole tutoring us thing. First of all, there are three of us here, I hope you remember the other two of us.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes and went to sit on the bed, joined by John shortly after. “How could I forget?” He muttered, causing John to grin, before Sherlock got started on trying to tutor them.

Sherlock tried to be as patient as possible, for John’s sake. Molly kept up rather easily. It was Greg that was falling behind, and the only reason Sherlock took the time to help him was John’s pleading. By the end of the session they were all on the same page and Sherlock was annoyed and figured he had done his amount of socializing for the year. He was glad to see them go, even if it meant John was leaving as well.

He didn’t account for the voices downstairs well after they had left Sherlock’s room, but he ignored it and figured Mycroft could have his own time of being annoyed by the presence of people.

\-----------------

John finally gave up on Greg who wouldn’t leave Sherlock’s poor brother alone, not that he looked annoyed. He looked more amused than anything, which was odd on the brother’s face.

John pulled Molly along, deciding to leave Greg behind. “He won’t mind. He’ll probably be grateful for it.” He said nonchalantly as they walked.

Molly nodded, and walked slowly with him. It was a bit awkward walking alone with John, not because of John, but rather because of how much Molly knew that John didn’t.

John glanced at Molly. “What’s on your mind? You’re awfully quiet.”

She shrugged lightly, trying to think up an excuse. “It’s nothing. I’m always quiet.” John chuckled. “No you’re not. Well.. alright, you can be. But you’re not around Sherlock. You’re not even quiet around Greg and I together. Just me..” He said glancing at her.

 Molly shook her head. “It’s not you. I’ve just got a lot on my mind really. Thinking. About things..” She said, trying really hard to figure out what to say.

 John nodded. “I get it. I’m like that a lot.. well sometimes.” He sighed softly, trying his best not to think about his family or Sherlock or the anon. He bit his lip a bit. “Hey.. have you heard of Tumblr?” He asked, glancing at her again.

Molly kept her face neutral, but it was a close thing. “Uh.. yeah… I have one.” She said quietly.

He grinned. “Really? Could I follow you?” He asked. “I could give you my tumblr if you want?” Molly kept herself from looking at him, not sure what to do. “Um.. okay. I’ll take yours down and see if I can find you when I have time..” She said, watching him pull his bag off his shoulder and dig into it to pull out a piece of paper and write his tumblr name on it before handing it to her.

She smiled a bit awkwardly before putting it into her own side bag. “I’m not allowed online very often, so it might take a while before I can follow you.” She said, thinking fast.

John nodded. “That’s fine. It’s just good knowing people who have a tumblr. I’m guessing Sherlock doesn’t have one. He doesn’t seem like the type.” He said. Molly decided to take that as a statement rather than a question. She didn’t want to get them into more trouble. She still had to figure out how to keep John from asking for her own blog name.

She was actually relieved when they had to go their separate ways to go home, though she had to assure him she’d be fine walking the rest of the way on her own. She almost rolled her eyes at his kindness, despite being touched. She’d have to talk to Sherlock, see if she could get him to reveal himself to John soon, though that was going to be difficult.


	12. It's me

John couldn’t believe how things were going. It had been over a week since he first started hanging out with Sherlock during lunch. They now spent lunch together every day, much like the first. They would meet at the cafeteria with Greg and Molly, and John would share some of his lunch with Sherlock. It always took some persuading to get him to eat, but he would give in eventually. John was happy to know that he was at least eating something every day.

After they ate, they would head to the chemistry lab where John would watch Sherlock with awe as Sherlock did his different experiments. It was a different one almost every day. He’d do titrations or crystallizations, or something John didn’t even understand. John was amazed. He’d try to be helpful, but mostly he just cleaned equipment and handed him things.

Sherlock had even asked him to get his phone out of his shirt pocket to send a reply to his brother’s text. John’s cheeks were hot when he had pulled his hand away with the phone and he spent a moment trying to focus before he sent the text. He had paraphrased Sherlock’s rather rude words and in response received thanks to John himself from his brother which startled John. Sherlock didn’t seem impressed, which made John wonder if he should worry more. But then Sherlock was a genius so it only made sense that his brother was abnormally intelligent as well.. or all seeing.

John then replaced the phone into Sherlock’s pocket without asking. John would never admit why he did that instead of setting it somewhere that would have made sense. But the smirk Sherlock gave in reply was almost worth it.

John was falling further and further for Sherlock, but at the same time he was getting closer to the anon as well. He didn’t know what to do. He felt like talking to the anon was too much like cheating or something, not that Sherlock had feelings for him at all. But perhaps because he had feelings for both of them and was having difficulty dealing with all the emotions they both caused. He knew he’d have to choose at some point. Perhaps Greg had a point with flirting with both of them and seeing if they reacted.

John was afraid that either of them or both would reject him immediately. He wasn’t sure he could handle that. But he was starting to think that if he had a choice he would choose Sherlock, mostly because he was there. John had met him, seen him. They were close and wouldn’t have to deal with distance. It was the preferable relationship. But John had to continuously remind himself that they weren’t in a relationship and that Sherlock was likely not to have any feelings for him beyond friendship.

_Anonymous:_

_Your admirers are becoming ridiculous. I hope you know. Not that I mind them too much. But their thoughts about why I don’t reveal myself and/or my gender are worse than anything I could have imagined. The things they came up with. Perhaps I’m just not ready to publicly announce myself._

_bonds-companion:_

_They’re just having a bit of fun. Well most of them are. At least the ones I post are. I try not to post the rude ones. And you can keep your secret. After all, we’re just friends and all. Gender doesn’t matter. I think they’re getting more carried away with the shipping of us. I just don’t see us going anywhere. Do you?_

               

                He figured that was bold enough without ruining everything. Besides, with the way the anon spoke, much like Sherlock he thought but ignored it as merely him having a specific type, they’d just tell him exactly what they thought about this odd relationship they shared. John was hoping for that. He wanted to see where he stood with the anon and then with Sherlock.

\-----------------------

Sherlock stared at the response he was given. He didn’t like it at all. John was pushing him away. But why was he pushing him away? He almost blatantly flirted with him through the anon messages and Sherlock was enjoying it, but now John was telling him he didn’t want them to go any further. Sherlock didn’t know how to respond. Though at the same time, John didn’t know it was him. But still, it showed that John wasn’t interested in his personality. Didn’t it?

Sherlock couldn’t help but respond, trying to understand. He couldn’t lose John now. He put too much into this relationship, let himself feel too much.

He spent more time with John than he did anyone else, except perhaps Molly, but that was mainly because they actually had classes together and Molly practically followed him home. He loved spending lunch with John. He didn’t even mind eating, in fact he was thrilled that John cared so much that he ate. And of course the time they spent in the chemistry lab together. He’d almost call it intimate. He wouldn’t admit it to John, but he’d even messed up an experiment when John had reached in his pocket to get his phone. He pretended like the experiment turned out exactly how he expected and then had to do the experiment again at home when John wasn’t around in order to get the correct results.

Now Sherlock stared at the response before sending another ask, pleased when the response came almost instantly.

 

Anonymous:

I suppose I wouldn’t see us going anywhere if that is your opinion on the matter. After all, if your intentions are for us to forever be friends than my intentions wouldn’t matter. May I ask your reasons for seeing nothing more to us? I’m asking as a friend, of course. Nothing more.

                bonds-companion:

Oh.. well I guess you have a point. Of course you do, you always do. Well, honestly, the main reason would be there’s someone at my school… and well, I don’t even know which part of the country you live in. I hope you understand.

 

Sherlock stared at the response, not sure what to think. John had feelings for someone else? But who? He spent most of his time with Greg, Molly, or Sherlock. Sherlock frowned a bit. He needed to know more. He couldn’t lose John to someone else. He couldn’t handle that.

His initial reaction was to cut all ties now. It would be hard enough losing him now, he couldn’t imagine losing him later into their relationship or friendship or whatever he would call it.

 

Anonymous:

Oh? Care to say more about such a person that could earn your affections? I’m only curious. I understand if they follow you or you think they might find your blog or something. But if you can say something, I would like to see what sort of person they are. Think of it as an experiment if you like.

bonds-companion:

Honestly? They remind me a bit of you. Especially with that experiment comment you just made. And I don’t see them having a blog at all, so I don’t mind talking about him. Yes, he’s male. He’s the whole reason I questioned my sexuality. Um.. I don’t know what to say about him.. He’s a scientist through and through. He even works in the chemistry lab at lunch. He’s brilliant. I’m a bit lost really. I hope none of this hurts you or anything. I really like you, it’s just… you’re not him. And you’re not even here… I hope you understand. I’m so sorry. I hope I didn’t lead you on.

 

Sherlock’s eyes widened as he read the new response. He sat still, reading it over and over again, before he had a ridiculous grin on his face. John liked him, in fact John like both of him. He said as much. He was leaving him for.. well him. Sherlock couldn’t respond, didn’t know what he would say, but he was too ecstatic to care. He didn’t have to lose John. He closed his laptop and left the house, needing to walk and clear his head.

His brother called after him, but he ignored him. He didn’t want to talk to Mycroft right now, he wanted to think about John. Perfect, amazing, wonderful John.

\-----------------------

John was a bit confused, and felt guilty for what he had sent the anon. He hadn’t gotten another ask since then. And he knew it had only been a day, but he expected some sort of response to assure him that the anon didn’t mind and that they could still be friends, but there was no reply. He sighed and prepared himself for another long wait. He was glad that this time he at least had Sherlock.

At lunch he sat at the table with Molly and Greg, waiting for Sherlock. He hadn’t seen him since he sent that response to the anon either, but that didn’t worry him. He didn’t really expect to see him until now. He looked up with a grin when he heard footsteps, only to see Sally. He frowned as she took Sherlock’s seat, setting her school lunch on the table. “What?” She asked him. “Oh I’m sorry, did you think I was the freak?” she asked, causing John to clench his teeth together.

Sally laughed. “You two are ridiculous. I’ve seen you around. Dull. It’s not like you’ll go anywhere. He’s a freak. He’s not interested in people. I bet he’s using you for something.”

John clenched his fists as well, as he stared at Sally, trying to keep himself from responding, though it was difficult.

“Shut up.” Greg spoke up. “If you’re going to talk about Sherlock like that, then no one wants you here.” He muttered. Molly glared at her as well.

Sally rolled her eyes. “Fine. Fine. I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s an endearment of mine.” She said, with a false smile that fooled none of them. John looked away from her, still waiting for Sherlock.

Sally started eating her burrito. She hummed lightly. “Molly, dear. I was interested in something I heard you saying to John the other day. He was asking about your tumblr or something. So you guys have a tumblr?” She asked, smiling at all of them.

They all looked a bit shocked at the mention of tumblr before they nodded. She grinned. “Me too. Here. I’ll put mine on here. And then you all can follow me, and I’ll decide whether or not I want to follow you guys. Alright?” She said, smiling her false smile again, before writing her tumblr on a napkin and handing it to molly. She then grabbed her tray again and left, going to another table.

Molly took one glance at the napkin and started laughing loudly, just as Sherlock sat across from them, raising an eyebrow at her. John handed him part of his sandwich as usual. Greg read the tumblr url, laughing as well before handing it to John. His eyes widened, though he didn’t see why it was funny necessarily.

Sherlock glanced at them. “What’s so amusing then?” He asked. John shrugged. “It’s a tumblr thing. You wouldn’t understand. It’s just Sally’s tumblr url.” He said before showing him the name.

Sherlock had to force himself not to laugh like Greg and Molly had as he read ‘woman-versus-world’. He nodded and handed it back. He understood why Molly had laughed so hard, knowing that sally was one of the main shippers of John and Sherlock, despite hating Sherlock so much. He glanced at Greg, and knew immediately that he knew as well. He knew that Sherlock was the anon. But a look at John told him he didn’t know yet.

Sherlock glared at Molly, knowing she told him, but then started eating his sandwich instead of commenting. As long as Greg didn’t let on that he knew, then it was all fine. Besides it probably wouldn’t be long before Sherlock would find a way to tell John, perhaps. He hadn’t decided yet, though he knew he’d have to eventually. He just hoped he didn’t freak out.


	13. Revelations and Consequences

Sherlock spent the next few days happier than he’d been in years. He had John’s heart. Now that he knew it, it was easy to see the signs. Sherlock couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before. He finally sent John another anonymous ask after learning from molly that John was worrying again about not getting another. It had been a few days since they’d talked, but Sherlock had been busy trying to figure out whether or not he should tell John, or if he should at all.

 

_Anonymous:_

_I apologize for not replying sooner. Of course I don’t mind. I’m sure the person you’ve alluded to is as amazing and brilliant as I am. I wish you every happiness or whatever the saying is. I’m not at all offended and of course we can still be friends._

_bonds-companion:_

_Thank you. For all of it really. I see you still manage to be full of yourself even when wishing me happiness or whatever. It’s rather amazing in and of itself. And I’m glad we can still be friends and you finally replied. I was afraid I’d hurt you or something. I’m really glad you understand._

 

Sherlock smiled at the quick response, but left it at that for the moment. He still had to think about what to do. He was worried that John would freak out, but then thought there was no reason for him to. He should be happy. Sherlock thought so anyway.

Molly shook her head at Sherlock’s grin and both Sherlock’s and John’s words, but didn’t say anything. She had of course seen the conversation about his feelings for Sherlock and immediately started telling Sherlock that he had to tell John. It had been a long drawn out conversation that Sherlock wanted to keep from repeating and so was glad she didn’t say anything now.

Even Greg had showed up at his home to tell him he had to tell John now that Sherlock knew his feelings for him. Though Sherlock was convinced it was just an excuse to see his brother. As soon as he noticed the glances between the two of them he shuddered and shooed Greg from his room. Though it was curious to think he wasn’t the only Holmes that was falling to sentiment, not that Mycroft admitted it yet.

If Sherlock was honest, it was rather amusing to watch Greg pursuing Mycroft. Mycroft continued pushing him away, or saying few words in response to Greg’s long monologues. Greg seemed to be enjoying himself though, finding it a challenge most likely. But still, Sherlock tried to stay away from the two.

Greg had started visiting as often as Molly and they started knocking again, every day. Sherlock found however that he didn’t get a repeated diatribe from Mycroft about how he didn’t want to answer the door for Sherlock’s annoying friend. Sherlock knew that was proof enough of Mycroft’s sentiment, but wisely kept his mouth shut, for the time being anyway. He’d find the perfect time to use his knowledge against Mycroft.

Another addition to Molly’s visits was John. But John’s visits weren’t nearly as often as the other two, because of his dad though he never said. Sherlock couldn’t know when John was going to show up. Sometimes John would walk home with Sherlock, sometimes he’d show up with Molly and Greg, sometimes he’d appear hours later, and sometimes he didn’t show at all. Sherlock found that there was no way to predict it.

Often he found himself slamming his laptop shut when John entered late, earning a confused glance from John, especially when Molly was staring at his computer as well. John never asked questions though, and Sherlock was glad for that, not that he couldn’t lie, but that he didn’t want to lie directly to John’s face.

 Sherlock didn’t mind the days when John wasn’t there like this day, only because he was still able to talk to him via tumblr and text even at this point. He didn’t text John when they talked on tumblr though, mostly because he was afraid of John putting together his writing style and figuring out they were the same person. Part of him was surprised he hadn’t done it yet, but then it was probably so unlikely, that John couldn’t put it together without a bit of help, help that Sherlock refused to give.

Molly sighed softly and Sherlock knew she was getting ready to start another argument. Sherlock shook his head. “Don’t start.” He replied before scrolling down John’s blog, happy to continue looking at John’s blog and finding more about John with every post.

Molly sighed again, louder this time. “It’s just not fair to John.” She said softly. Sherlock shook his head. “Of course it is. I’m giving him time. And he’ll know eventually. I just haven’t figured out how or when I’m going to tell him. But I think it will likely happen before the year is up.” He said, adding a smile as if he was being completely reasonable and generous even.

Molly’s eyes widen. “A year?! You’re going to leave him without any idea… for a year?! It’s already been too long Sherlock. After what he said to the anon… so sure that you’d never see it.. It’s not fair to him.” Sherlock frowned and finally looked up at her. “He’ll be fine.” He said.

Molly rolled her eyes. “It’s not about that.. It’s about you both. It’s about trust and whether or not he’ll be upset or hurt.”

Sherlock frowned more. “He won’t be. He’ll be fine. Happy even. When I get around to it.” He muttered. “If you’re only going to complain and continuously bring this up, you can go.” He added. Molly bit her lip before letting out yet another sigh. “Fine. I’ll drop it. For now. But we do have that assignment to go over.” She said, pulling her work out of her bag and moving to the bed.

She waited a moment, before raising an eyebrow at Sherlock, expectantly. Sherlock sighed and got up from his desk, grabbing his own bag and practically stomping over to the bed like a child. He had just sat down when the door opened, emitting John. Sherlock grinned at the sight of him, before he felt the panic fill him and his eyes flit toward his computer which was still open and on John’s blog, before he glanced at John whose own eyes were aimed at the laptop, widening as he saw it. “That… that’s my blog..” He said, sounding confused.

Sherlock had the urge to rush over and close his laptop but knew it was irrational since he had already seen it. Instead Sherlock watched John, trying to see how much John had figured out, and whether the reaction was good or bad.

\-----------------------

John stared at the laptop for a long time. At first it was just the shock of seeing his own blog on someone else’s computer. Then it was seeing his blog on Sherlock’s computer. Slowly it sank in and his thoughts started headed toward a different direction. He bit his lip. “I… how much have you seen? How long have you known it was mine?” He asked. He needed to know if Sherlock had seen John’s confession to the anon. On top of that, there was no reason to pretend that Sherlock didn’t know it was John’s. Sherlock was far too intelligent for that, plus Molly was sitting right there, and he had given her his name. His eyes widened more, thinking Molly had told him after seeing the confession herself. But he couldn’t really see her doing that. He shook his head slowly and focused his eyes on Sherlock’s, trying to keep from panicking.

Sherlock met his gaze and seemed to look as composed as ever. “I’ve seen all of your blog John. And don’t be upset at Molly,” He started, seeming to read John’s mind as usual. “I was actually the one to show her your blog. Or rather she did exactly as you, seeing it as she walked in.” He said.

John swallowed, becoming paler at his words. “So you saw…. My conversations to the anon…” He started quietly. His mind was racing, wondering if there was some way to take back the words he said to the anon, though he knew he couldn’t. He thought about telling Sherlock it wasn’t him, but again he couldn’t. Who else spends there lunch in the chem lab and is all about experiments and science?

Sherlock nodded in response, keeping John from having to explain more. “Yes. I saw them.” He said. John tried to think of something else to say before Sherlock spoke again. “I am the anon.” He said quietly. For a moment, John thought he misheard, then his eyes widened again. “You… you’re the..” He took a step back, leaning against the door frame. Sherlock nodded again, watching John.

Molly bit her lip and stood slowly. She put her things back in her bag quietly. And moved toward John and the door. Her movement caught his gaze and he looked at her. “You’re cutesy-cats-loves.” He said quietly, as if it was obvious now. Molly bit her lip and nodded. “I’m so sorry.” She said quietly. “I wanted to tell you.” She added before slipping out the door and heading down the stairs, deciding to leave them alone for the moment.

Sherlock’s eyes never left John, waiting for his reaction. John looked at him again. “Why didn’t you tell me? You were my anon this whole time? What, you met me and then decided to start messing with my mind?!” His voice got louder as he spoke slipping easily from shock to anger. Sherlock decided to stay quiet, not correcting him and reminding him that he was his anon before they had met in person. John continued, getting louder and moving toward the bed a bit. “You’ve been messing with my head! What was your plan? To drive me crazy in person and online? To make me fall in love with two people? To turn me gay?! What do you get from that?”

Sherlock shook his head slowly, mind working, trying to figure out what to do, what to say. He didn’t know how to work with this. He didn’t know how to make John’s red and angry face turn back to the smile he usually saved for Sherlock. He opened his mouth to speak, to say anything at all but was interrupted again by John.

“Whatever your plan was. It worked. Congratulations! I’m gay and fell for you twice! My mind has been in shambles for weeks, unsure about what to do or who to approach. But congratulations for you. Whatever experiment you’ve been working on, I hope it turned out fanfuckingtastic!” He snarled before spinning around and storming out the door, leaving Sherlock sitting on his bed eyes wide and mouth open, willing himself to call out, to say anything at all.

Molly had stopped when she reached the door and heard yelling from upstairs. She cringed, but knew she couldn’t leave just yet. Sherlock would need her, just like John was likely to need Greg after this. She glanced over to where Greg and Mycroft were sitting on the sofa, all eyes on her, raised in question. “John saw his own tumblr on Sherlock’s laptop.” She said, and watched both faces morph into understanding.

She didn’t question Mycroft’s knowledge on the subject, the man was intimidating to her and she still didn’t speak to him much, but Greg did enough of the talking for the both of them. She took a step toward them before hearing the door upstairs slam shut and then seeing John come barreling toward her. She stepped out of the way just in time for him to rush through the door, slamming it behind himself as well, making Molly cringe before sighing and heading upstairs to do damage control.

Greg watched the whole thing as well, before looking at Mycroft apologetically and taking his leave. He too had damage to control, though his was seemingly much more volatile than molly’s and he hoped he’d be able to manage it before it got out of control.


	14. Conflict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for father-son abuse.  
> Apologies for the really short chapter. And hopefully things will start looking up after this chapter. Sorry for any feels caused by this story.  
> \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Molly made her way into the room and bit her lip at what she saw. Sherlock was staring at the door still, had even looked hopeful as Molly opened the door. Molly actually felt guilty for making him slouch again in disappointment. She moved over to the bed and sat next to him. “Don’t start.” Sherlock said quietly. He sounded so defeated.

Molly chewed her lip a bit as she watched him, unsure what to say. She could say she told him so, but she knew he didn’t need that, and she certainly wasn’t glad she was right. She could say plenty of things, but wasn’t sure which would actually be helpful. She started with “I’m sorry.” Sherlock didn’t reply. He curled up on the bed next to her, clutching his knees to his chest. “So am I.” He said quietly.

She felt her heart break even more at the sight of him and didn’t stop herself from running her fingers gently through his hair. “It will be alright.” She said softly. “He just needs time to understand and wrap his mind around it.” She was both surprised and happy that Sherlock didn’t pull away from her or tell her to stop. She continued moving her hand through his hair, trying to soothe. “He cares a lot about you Sherlock. You saw that, both in how he acted with you and what he said to you as the anon. You know he cares. Don’t forget that.”

Sherlock still didn’t respond and Molly started to wonder if he didn’t pull away because he didn’t mind or because he didn’t care enough about anything to move. She bit her lip harder. “Sherlock… just.. give him time and then talk to him. Even send him messages as the anon or texts or even.. come off of anon now that he knows… Not yet of course.. I do think he needs a bit of time..”

She stopped talking again, deciding she wasn’t really helping. She didn’t know what to do. She was so bad at comforting people and she couldn’t decide if Sherlock was worse or better than others.

They stayed like that for a long while. Molly couldn’t even say how Sherlock ended up with his head in her lap as she continued running her fingers through his hair. She would say something every once in a while, but for the most part they both stayed silent, thinking about what happened and how to fix it.

\--------------------------

Greg took off running after John. He finally caught up to him as he turned down his street. “John!” He called out. John clenched his fists a bit, and seemed about to start going faster, before he changed his mind and slowed, turning toward Greg. “Did you know?” He asked. He was about to take it back, not sure how Greg would have known, but the look on his face was enough for him.

He stood unsure of how to react for a moment, before choosing anger. He clenched his fists together. “What the bloody hell?! Why wouldn’t you tell me? Why would you keep encouraging me, when you knew the whole time?!”

Greg shook his head quickly. “Now wait a minute. I didn’t say I knew the whole time. I’ve only known for a little while. Molly told me, and she made me promise not to say anything. Besides I didn’t think you were ready to know. I thought you’d take it badly. Thank God I was wrong.” He said, raising an eyebrow at him.

John almost snarled in response. “How am I supposed to react? I was a bloody experiment! I.. You encouraged me to fall for the person on my computer! You even encouraged me to fall for Sherlock! And now…they’re the bloody same person!”

Greg took a deep breath, praying for patience. “I’m not seeing the problem with that. Shouldn’t you be relieved? Happy even?”

John rolled his eyes. “Yeah. If this were some fairytale maybe I would be. But he lied to me. He made me an experiment. And don’t you try to tell me he returns my feelings. He wouldn’t have done this if he did.”

Greg sighed softly. “Wouldn’t he have, though? Think about it John. How would he be able to tell you it’s him? You two met after he started talking to you on tumblr. And you flirted with him and everything. He knew everything there was to know about anybody. Meaning he would have known you thought you were straight. He might even have thought you were straight. What was he supposed to do with that?”

John chewed his lip. “I don’t know! Alright. But not what he did. I was only ever open with him! He could have told me once I confessed my bloody feelings!” He huffed, turning again and starting to walk again. “Just leave it Greg.” He muttered, and turned down his driveway. “Go home.” He added, seeing his father’s car.

Greg shook his head. “No. I’m not going home until you see sense.” He said stubbornly, following John into his house. John paused at the door, torn between not wanting Greg to ever meet his father and pride and stubbornness. He chose the latter and walked into the house, not caring that Greg followed him. He cringed when he was met with yelling. He felt like banging his head against the wall. He couldn’t ever get a break.

Greg followed stubbornly until he heard the yelling, and suddenly wasn’t so sure he should have come in. John’s one rule for their friendship was that he never saw his father. And it made sense to Greg. He never questioned it before. But now, watching John, knowing he was going to get in the middle of things. He couldn’t just leave, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be any help or if he’d make things worse.

John didn’t even look at Greg, hoping he left as John headed toward the yelling. He heard a hit and all rational thought flew out of his mind as he ran into the other room seeing red. He had enough of this. He had enough of being afraid of everyone and everything. He had enough of fearing for his family and of trying to do everything on his own. This was it. He didn’t even think as he flew into the room and instead of letting his father hit him as usual until he calmed down, John flew at him, throwing his own punches, letting out everything he kept bottled up.

Greg ran after him, knowing whatever he had planned wasn’t good. He watched his best friend attack his own father. Watched, and didn’t know what to do. John’s mother and sister were standing to the side screaming as the men hit each other and shoved each other against the wall. Greg could barely tell whose limbs belonged to who, or where the blood was coming from. He stood a bit longer before he finally came to his senses and grabbed his phone, dialing 999 and trying to speak calmly but urgently into the phone.

He was aware that he probably just ruined his friendship with John and possibly more. He knew John was keeping his abusive father a secret. Mostly so that the family had a chance in the end. But Greg couldn’t keep lying for John and he definitely couldn’t keep watching what was happening in front of him.

The rest of the time seemed like a blur. He was watching them fighting and then there were sirens and both men were panicking and bleeding. John was on the floor, nursing his injuries as his father fled the house. Greg knelt next to him, chewing his lip a bit. “Let me help with that.” John looked up at him slowly. He was worse than Greg had seen him in a long time, bruises and cuts. “Did you call them?” He asked slowly. “Did you call the police?”

Greg swallowed and nodded. “Yeah… I couldn’t.. John he was beating the crap out of you.” He said quietly, hoping to get some sense into John. All he saw was the look of betrayal before police and paramedics were rushing inside to John, asking them all questions, speaking into their radios.

Greg watched everyone leave. John was taken in the ambulance alone and his mother and sister were taken in a cop car behind. Greg sat on the front step, wondering if he saved his friends life, or just made it that much harder.


	15. Who's the machine?

Sherlock paced his room for hours after Molly had left. He didn’t thank her, never did, despite the appreciation he felt for her. He didn’t know how she put up with him, but she did, somehow. He couldn’t stop thinking about John and how angry he looked. He’d never admitted it before, but Molly was right. He should have said something before, or better, shouldn’t have started this in the first place. He knew from the beginning that it wasn’t a good idea, knew that sentiment was the chemical defect found on the losing side and yet he still gave it a shot. He didn’t know how he could get over this now.

Finally by morning, he made his decision. He would try to reason with John. But only once, then he would give up, he would get over John and he would never subject himself to such pain ever again.

Sherlock waited near John’s locker before school started. He knew approximately when John arrived every morning. When that time came and passed, he felt himself getting nervous. He started pacing in front of the lockers and snarling at anyone who dared speak to him or bump into him. His nerves were on fire. He needed to talk to John, needed to make him understand, needed to make him see reason.

The bell rang and still Sherlock was pacing in front of John’s locker, with no John to show for it. Assuming that John had seen him and avoided him, Sherlock walked to John’s first class, entered without caring and scanned the room. He didn’t care that everyone was staring at him, didn’t care that the teacher was berating him for interrupting her class. He didn’t even feel like giving out his usual sarcasm or telling the teacher that she was only upset because her long-term boyfriend didn’t want to move in with her.

His eyes fell on an empty seat, before he walked over to the teacher and grabbed the sheet of paper from her hands where she was calling role. He scanned the paper as the teacher yelled some more and tried to get the paper back. Sherlock found John’s name. Assured that he was in this class but not presence he dropped the paper in the trash and turned to leave quickly.

Sherlock felt like banging his head against every locker he passed on his way to the next classroom. He entered and immediately found who he was looking for. He walked down the rows of students and again ignored the eyes on him but was relieved to find that this teacher preferred to stare at him like all the other students rather than yelling at him in a shrill voice like the previous menace.

Greg bit his lip as Sherlock approached, knowing sort of what he wanted, but unsure of what to say. He’d already broken so many friendship codes. He wasn’t sure what John would want him to do in this situation. He made himself stay calm and met Sherlock’s gaze.

“Where is he?” Sherlock said, rather calmly Greg thought. Greg took in his appearance and quickly realized that Sherlock wasn’t as composed as Greg had initially thought. He looked torn apart and lost and like he hadn’t slept for weeks. Greg swallowed and shook his head. “Who..?” He started, stalling for time.

Sherlock slammed a hand on the desk, internally gleeful when it caused Greg to jump slightly. “It’s not my place to tell you.” Greg said instead, making Sherlock narrow his eyes. “It wasn’t your place to do many things you did. Tell me where he is. I need to talk to him, and it’s definitely not your place to decide that I shouldn’t talk to him.” He said. Greg shook his head, finding it rather difficult to fight the two parts of him.

He wanted to tell Sherlock, because he had become a friend and because he was convinced that Sherlock and John would be amazing together. He’d already noticed improvements in John’s happiness and that was enough for him. But then he wanted to keep quiet out of stubbornness, rebellion, and because John probably wouldn’t want to tell Sherlock.

Sherlock continued glaring at him for a bit longer, before sighing and feeling more of his calm façade fall. “Please.” He said quietly, eyes pleading now, needing to know where John was, needing to know he was okay, needing to talk to him and make him understand and hold him close and that’s when Sherlock decided to shut his brain down for a moment. He took a deep breath as he watched Greg deliberate.

Finally Greg closed his eyes and spoke quietly. “He’s at hospital. He.. well you could probably deduce what happened when he got home. I haven’t heard much, but I know he’s alright at the moment. He won’t let me in to see him, so I doubt you will be let in either.” He said quietly.

Sherlock felt his heart drop. He had to force himself to focus after Greg said the word hospital. He saw image after image flying through his mind, unable to stop them. He nodded slowly before turning and walking out of the room. Now to his own class.

He entered the room, barely receiving an eye roll from his own teacher who was used to his antics. However, he didn’t sit in his seat and instead grabbed Molly’s books, put them in her bag, grabbed it and her wrist and tried to walk back out. Molly’s eyes were wide and she shook her head. “Sherlock!” She whispered, eyes flickering between Sherlock and the teacher.

Sherlock glanced at her, “John’s in hospital.” He said quietly, looking away again before she could read him. He felt relief flood through him as she stopped tugging away from his grip and instead followed him out the door.

Sherlock handed over her bag as they walked quickly. He led her out of the school, taking his favorite route that was least monitored. They stayed silent as they walked to a busier street before hailing a cab.

Finally, when they were in the cab Molly turned to look at Sherlock. “I understand why you’re in a hurry to get there.. but why me?” She asked softly.

Sherlock shrugged lightly as if it wasn’t important before speaking quickly. “Greg’s already been there and he won’t let Greg see him. He’s upset with me, so he’s not going to let me in either. But you… people like you. You’re good with people, in the most unorthodox way.” He said glancing at her finally. “He’ll let you see him. You can make sure he’s okay, make sure he doesn’t need anything… and of course see if you can get him to just let me in for a moment.”

Molly regarded him for a moment before nodding. “If he lets me in.” She said softly. Sherlock didn’t reply, assured that John wouldn’t turn Molly away. He settled into the seat, waiting for it to arrive, and hoping more than anything that John really was okay.

\-------------------------------

It took a while, but finally Molly was let into the room where John was held. She couldn’t help but feel a bit honored that John let her in, especially after everything she had done or rather kept from him. She walked slowly toward him, and found that John looked as tired as Sherlock. She sat in the chair next the bed and chewed her lip a bit. “How.. how are you?” She asked, looking up at him.

John shrugged lightly. “I’m fine. They kept me mostly for observation and because…” He trailed off as if deciding he didn’t want to share the other reason. He shook his head. “I’m fine really. They’re not keeping me here because I’m in any sort of danger or anything.” He assured her. Molly nodded slowly. “Good. That’s.. good.” She said quietly.

She glanced at her feet, shifting them a bit as she tried to think of what to say. John sighed softly. “What is it?” He asked her, knowing there was something more to her visit. “I mean.. I’m sure you would have come anyway.. or sent something. But the likelihood of you being here instead of at class, well it’s low. Is Sherlock out there?”

Molly nodded slowly. “He wants to see…” John quickly cut her off with a “No.”

John shook his head quickly. “I don’t want to see him Molly. I shouldn’t even want to see you. I didn’t even want to see Greg after everything. Though it’s more than…” He trailed off again, shaking his head. “No. And I’ll be happy never to talk to him again. Tell him that for me.”

Molly frowned. “That’s not true though.” She said softly. “You care about him. And he cares…”

“About himself!” He said quickly. “He doesn’t care about me. He never did. He cares about himself and about his experiments and that’s all! He can’t care about people! It’s not in him and I was a fool for thinking he could!” He snarled, making Molly flinch a bit.

“John. You know that’s not true. You know he cares. It just takes more for him to care. It’s harder for him than most people. He’s not used to it. You’ve met his brother…”

John shook his head again. “Shut up Molly.” He said, before quickly regretting it at her put out look. “I’m sorry.” He amended quickly. “Just.. he doesn’t care. He never did. He doesn’t care about people. Or feelings. He doesn’t have feelings! He’s a machine!” He said, all the pain building up inside of him, making him attack that which caused the pain.

That made Molly glare and stand. “John Watson, you listen to me. Sherlock is not a machine. And you’ll do well to remember that. I know you’re hurt and scared and don’t know what to do. I know you’re upset that he kept this from you, but what did you expect? Did you expect someone with so little experience with feelings to just come out with it immediately? Especially when you turn around and say things like that about him? Right now, he’s not the one being a machine. You are.” She said before leaving the room. John stared at the door wide-eyed and not exactly sure what happened.

Molly returned to Sherlock, looking slightly upset, which scared Sherlock a bit. “Is he alright?” He asked quickly, calming Molly down. She looked up at him and sighed softly. “That’s the first thing you care about..” She said softly to a confused Sherlock. She decided not to elaborate. She didn’t want to explain that she knew Sherlock cared and that that was just confirmed, or that John was questioning his ability to care so adamantly. “Yes.. He’s fine. They’re keeping him for observation purposes.” She assured him.

Sherlock nodded, still looking at her a bit oddly. “And I’m guessing he still doesn’t want to see me.” He said, not even a question. Molly bit her lip but nodded. “We should get back to class.” She said softly.

Sherlock nodded again. “Yeah. You go ahead. I’ll get the next cab.” He said. Molly stared at him for a moment, before giving a slight smile and hugging him, much to Sherlock’s surprise. “You really do care too much.” She said softly. “But it will work out I think..” She said softly, before turning down the hall.

Sherlock, a bit out of sorts from the whole situation, sat back in his chair in the waiting room. He had no intention of going back to school, but Molly knew that. He didn’t want to leave John, even if he wasn’t allowed to see him. He’d have to find out a way eventually, but for now. He’d just be here in case John changed his mind, or in case anything else happened.


	16. How are you really?

Sherlock stayed in the waiting room all day. He was glad he could see anyone who entered or exited John’s room. It meant he had access to any information on how John was doing. The nurses were easy to read and Sherlock was content with the results. They weren’t worried, and they didn’t have looks of pity on their faces either. It mean John’s condition was as Molly had said. He wasn’t in any critical condition.

Still, Sherlock didn’t want to leave. He needed to see John, and spent much of the time working out a plan to do so, whether the nurses let him in or not.

Sherlock glanced up when a nurse entered John’s room before Sherlock had estimated they would check on him. He tried to tell himself he wasn’t worried. Though he couldn’t deny the relief when he saw Greg enter the waiting room, right after. The nurse was just checking if Greg could see him, and Sherlock could tell that Greg wasn’t too hopeful on the matter.

Greg raised an eyebrow at Sherlock, but didn’t seem too surprised. He moved to sit by him. “Been here all day?” He asked. Sherlock merely glanced at him in response causing Greg to nod. “He really didn’t seem too bad when they took him.. I mean.. well it was bad… but he’s had worse..” He winced at his own words, knowing they really weren’t helping anything, and watching Sherlock’s face just reinforced that knowledge.

Sherlock’s eyes widened a fraction when the nurse returned. “He’s letting you in.” He said, causing Greg to frown at him before the nurse motioned toward the door. “John will see you.” She said kindly. Understanding showed on Greg’s face before he glanced at Sherlock again. “Sorry…” He said, not sure what else to say. “I’ll put in a word for you… if I can..” He said before going into John’s room.

Sherlock watched after him with mixed feelings. On the one hand, he was jealous that John wanted to see Greg and not Sherlock, on the other hand, he thought that the fact that John was now willing to see Greg meant improvement in John’s feelings regarding the whole situation. And perhaps that meant he’d see Sherlock after. Sherlock could only hope.

\-----------------------------------------

Greg walked in slowly, almost expecting John to change his mind, or just start tearing him apart verbally. He cleared his throat, getting John to look up at him. He looked defeated really. It was different to any other time Greg had seen him in the hospital or sick. He didn’t quite like the look on him.

                John stared at him for a moment as Greg shifted slightly, standing near the foot of the bed as if afraid to move closer. “Um.. so.. how are you? I mean.. I know you’ve seen better.” He said, smiling a bit, trying to make things lighter, ease the tension a bit.

                John started to give a half-hearted smile before giving up halfway through. “Yeah. I guess I have.” He said quietly. “But then, I’ve never had to deal with any of this, and when I had problems I usually had a friend on my side.” He said, now not looking at Greg.

                Greg frowned a bit. “Hey.. none of that. You still have me.” John’s eyes flickered to him, almost glaring. “Do I? Because it sure as hell didn’t seem that way.” He said quietly.

                Greg took a deep breath. “I know John. I know you’re mad at me, and I can’t blame you.” John shook his head. “I’m more than mad Greg. You betrayed me, after everything. You know why I’m still here? Because they’ve gone after my father. They’re going to take him in and after that? My mom can’t take care of Harry or me. She doesn’t even have a job. What the bloody hell are we supposed to do now? I’m so bloody close Greg. I was so bloody close to getting out of this hell, and you’ve just sent me in a new one.”

                Greg shook his head, feeling his own anger rising in defense. “John. He was beating the crap out of you! What the bloody hell was I supposed to do?! Watch you die?! Is that what you wanted?”

                “Maybe!” John snapped. “It would have been better than this! Better than all of this. The only thing I had to look forward to was the army.”

                Greg took a deep breath, knowing they had to get through this conversation and yelling wasn’t helping anyone. He didn’t want the nurses to kick him out after he just got in there. “You can still get into the army John. This isn’t going to change that. You don’t know about your mom. Maybe she’ll be able to take care of you now.. maybe she’ll find a way. She’s strong, you know.. she’s been dealing with this too.. I know you don’t always think that. I know you sometimes blame her. And I know she could have tried to do something.. but maybe give her a chance now.. and besides all of that.. I know you’re going to hate me more for bringing this up, but what about Sherlock? I’m not an idiot. I know how you feel …felt.. about him.” His last words were quiet, spoken just loud enough for John to hear.

                John shook his head at first before hanging his head, slightly defeated. He felt exhausted suddenly, both emotionally and physically, from everything he’d been through in the last twenty-four hours. “I’m still mad at you.” He said quietly, deciding not to address the other issues for a moment. Greg sighed softly in relief. At least they were getting somewhere. He walked forward and finally sat down in the seat next to the bed. “I know.”

                They sat in silence for a moment, Greg giving John time, letting him talk when he wanted to. “Even if my mum tried.. I don’t see how she would be able to find a job suddenly.. especially not one that would support us.. We’ll lose everything. And then, I won’t be able to leave, because I’ll have to take care of Harry and my mum. I mean.. I was going to anyway. When I got back from the army, I was going to take care of them so they didn’t need dad.” He sighed softly. “I’ll just have to get a job now.. just something to help...I’m sure I can find something.” He said, face becoming determined, which was more of the John that Greg was used to.  

                Greg nodded slowly, knowing he was determined for the moment and nothing he said would affect John. He’d wait and try to talk some sense into him later. “Alright. That’s the John I know. Thinking about what to do next.” He said calmly, giving another half-smile. “And.. the other part?” Greg prompted.

                John shook his head. “The other part is built on a lie.” He said, laying back, and closing his eyes as if that would make it all go away. Greg shook his head. “You know that’s not true. You care for him, if nothing else. And just because he didn’t tell you.. it doesn’t mean it was a lie… right? I mean, maybe he didn’t know at first. Maybe he found out later.” He started. He felt like he was pleading with John, but watching John’s stoic face, he stopped and leaned back in his chair. “I can tell you he’s out there now. And he’s been there since he came here this morning right after he found out you were here. I don’t know what you expect John. I don’t know why you’re pushing him away.”

                John opened his eyes again and glanced at Greg. “I’m not. He did that himself. He could have told me. And don’t tell me he didn’t know. He’s freaking Sherlock Holmes. He knew. He.. He’s a bloody genius and you’ll do well to know that. He knew things from just my blog, he knew things from the first time he saw me. I’m an idiot not to have put it together. There could only be one person that smart… He didn’t want me to know. It was an experiment or something. I don’t care. I really don’t. I’m over it.” He said, closing his eyes again. “You’ve come, I’m fine. You can go.” He said.

                Greg started to argue before sighing and standing. “You’re too stubborn for your own good, John.” He said quietly. “I just hope you don’t let your stubbornness get in the way of something that could be amazing.”

                John didn’t reply as Greg stood and left. He merely met Sherlock’s eyes, watching understanding flow over Sherlock’s face, and watching him look even more forlorn if possible. Greg just shook his head and left the hospital, knowing there was nothing more he could do at the moment.

\--------------------------------

Sherlock sighed softly as he watched Greg leave. He was in there for a while, so presumably they spoke. And the look Greg gave Sherlock was almost apologetic, telling Sherlock that he tried, but John didn’t want to see him. John would see anyone but Sherlock. He felt himself collapse more in his chair. He thought about leaving at that point. No one would care. John obviously didn’t care. And he was starting to annoy the nurses.

He started walking down the halls, thinking. He needed to talk to John, but John didn’t want to see him. Perhaps it would be better if he just left it. He could leave John, let John get on with his life without Sherlock.

Sherlock was almost at the exit when he changed his mind. He couldn’t give up on John yet. Not yet. If anything he had to put John in his place, explain how he was wrong. John could hate him after that, but he had to have the facts straight first. Newly determined Sherlock turned and went down another hall. He had a plan. John didn’t want to see him, so the nurses wouldn’t let him in. That was simple enough. Sherlock just had to wait until the nurses switched shifts. He’d fool the new nurse before she knew otherwise.

Sherlock walked past the nurse’s station to get a glimpse of the schedule. He had to cause a bit of a raucous in order to see it and then after decided to stay in another part of the hospital for a while. He didn’t like being away from John, but he also didn’t want the nurses pointing to him and telling the new nurse that he wasn’t allowed in, especially after the commotion he caused.

He found his way to the security rooms, deciding his best bet would be to watch her via security cameras. It was simple getting inside. And he realized the man in charge at this hour was as daft as could be. It took less than five minutes to convince him he was supposed to be there. He ran some story about being the new intern and found it worked like a charm, though he hated listening to all the rules and regulations and what his duties would be, but it was worth it.

He waited an hour and a half after the new shift, spending the hour and a half watching the new nurse to learn what story would get him inside. He plastered a grin on his face as he met the nurse. ”I’m on my way to see John Watson.” He said, a bit happier than called for. The nurse smiled politely and nodded. “I’ll just check with him to..” Sherlock reached out a hand, catching her arm as she started to turn. “Oh, that won’t be necessary. I was here earlier. He’s expecting me. Told me to make sure I hurried.”

He knew from what he had watched that she had a lesbian sister and was slightly homophobic and instead overcompensated by being overly friendly with gays. He learned that from a picture of her sister and significant other she had in her wallet, along with the conversation she had with a gay couple whose child was her patient. It was simple really.

“He’s probably already going to be upset with me for being late. I’m always late. I was on our first date, and I have been since. Please, can I get by?” He asked, cheesy smile plastered on his face. The nurse’s eyes widened a bit and he could see the forced smile she plastered on her own face. “Oh? You’re.. you’re with him? That’s wonderful. I mean.. just.. I think it’s great that you’re out.. and all.” She continued, making Sherlock want to either hit her or vomit.

“Of course you can see him. I’m sorry I kept you longer.” She said, stepping aside. Sherlock sighed, almost ashamed of how easy it was. It wasn’t really worth the effort it took. He probably could have had it figured out without practically stalking her for an hour. But he was in and that was all that mattered. He smiled back and walked past her.

This was it now. He had his chance to at least get John to understand. He took a deep breath and opened the door, walking in slowly. He was ready for John to glare at him, yell at him, call the nurse in to get him out, almost anything. He wasn’t ready for John to be asleep, completely asleep, and looking peaceful at the moment. Sherlock again thought about fleeing, but shut the door behind himself before he could change his mind.

He sat in the chair next to John, watching him, but not wanting to wake him, not just yet. He sighed softly, and relaxed, knowing that at least now he’d be able to talk to John once more. He’d have his moment. Again, the unexpected happened, and he found himself drifting to sleep, comfortable merely in John’s presence, sure that John would have to hear him out now that he was there.


	17. Oh...

John woke up slowly, feeling as if he hadn’t really rested. There was too much on his mind, causing anxiety. He stared at the ceiling for a moment when he was finally fully awake, thinking he was alone, until he slowly processed the presence of someone else and turned his head toward the chair.

                He wasn’t really sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t Sherlock, and definitely not a sleeping Sherlock. At first he felt a sort of calm from looking at him, as his emotions bubbled over and he allowed himself to take in how serene he looked. But it didn’t take long for his mind to catch up with his heart, and for him to remember everything about why he’s in the hospital and why he’s definitely not going to lay there and think about how good Sherlock looked.

                He shook his head as the anger started to fill him. What gave Sherlock the right to come in here? What were the nurses thinking? What was Sherlock thinking? John had made it perfectly clear he wanted nothing to do with him and his stupidly perfect self any longer. John glared at the calm figure, now even angry at how peaceful he was. What right did he have to be so calm when everything in John’s life was falling apart all around him. He stared at Sherlock for a while longer, now glaring at him, trying to figure out what he wanted to do.

                He could call the nurse and make her send him away, or he could yell at Sherlock and make it clear to both Sherlock and the nurses that he was unwelcome. John chose his third option, the one that would allow him to make himself childishly clear, and allow him time to have any conversation with Sherlock right at the moment so it never had to happen again. He sat up a bit, pulled his pillow out from behind him and threw it hard at Sherlock’s face. He had to admit it felt good to act so childishly, especially with the way Sherlock jumped, and looked around with slightly wide eyes before focusing on John. Sherlock looked like he was caught between pouting, looking annoyed, and laughing. It was rather an amusing expression, with his lips and eyebrows twitching slightly as they tried to pick an expression.

                John forced himself to continue glaring at him. “I don’t know what makes you think you can just come in here while I’m sleeping. I thought I made it clear, you’re unwelcome. I don’t care how long you were out there or how you snuck in here.”

                Sherlock swallowed thickly, but his expression finally stuck with looking mildly annoyed. “I didn’t sneak in.” He said simply. “The new nurse let me in. She thinks we’re a couple.”

                John’s jaw dropped just a bit, before his mouth shut and then opened and closed a few more times before any words came out. “You let her think… We’re not!” He said, speaking a bit louder than needed, and ignoring Sherlock’s slight flinch, thinking it was merely the volume of his words that caused it.

                “We are not a couple, nor will we ever be a couple. Now get out.” He said, trying to keep his breathing normal. “I am also not an experiment.” He added, feeling the need to put out such words.

                Sherlock nodded slowly, facial expression unreadable now. “I am quite aware of what we are and what we are not.” He said, calmly. “But I’m not leaving. Not yet. I have a few things to say and then I’ll be gone.”

                John glared harder. “What if I don’t want to listen to you?” He asked harshly, hand moving over to the call button, before his wrist was gripped hard in Sherlock’s hand. “You will listen. Because I need you to hear me out. And because as soon as I’m done. I promise I will leave this room and you never have to talk to me again. Unfortunately we go to the same school, so I can’t promise you won’t ever see me again. But be sure I’ll see what I can do about that.” Sherlock was rather proud of his ability to remain calm and collected no matter the situation or how hard his heart was throbbing in pain at the thought of John hating him and never seeing him again.

                John swallowed, attention grabbed and nodded, slowly pulling his hand back from Sherlock’s grip. “Fair enough. Talk so you can leave.” He said, quieter than he would have liked.

                Sherlock nodded, before reaching down finally to grab John’s pillow, handing it back to him without a word. John placed it behind his head sitting up further, and then looked at Sherlock, waiting for him to get on with it.

                “Yesterday you spouted a bunch of nonsense. I wanted to clarify, since you were wrong about most of what you said.” He started, stopping when John started laughing a bit harshly, causing Sherlock to frown.

                “Of course you do. You don’t actually care about any of this, merely that I was wrong about something. Well isn’t that just great. Good. Alright. Tell me what I missed, so that you can be on your way, happy in your actions to rid the world of some mistaken points.”

                Sherlock frowned a bit more. “You’re wrong there as well, to think I don’t care. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care. And I feel like somewhere under all your pain and the outer shell you put up especially for me, you know that. I wouldn’t waste my time with just anyone John. If I tried to correct everyone I’d never be doing anything else.”

                John huffed out another laugh. “You don’t. I think you’re always correcting someone, actually.”

                Sherlock decided to ignore that comment, knowing he’d never get anything said if he kept rising to John’s bait. “You said yesterday. That I met you and then started messing with your mind as your anon. I promise you, I had no idea who you were before I messaged you the first time. If you recall, the first time I met and realized you were bonds-companion, was when you almost ran into me and then took off running. At which point I was already harboring an infatuation of sorts and was not ready to make that clear. I wasn’t even certain I would see you again, so I pretended as if I had not met you and did not know we live close. After that we met via Molly. I had no idea you were going to be there. She didn’t know you were bonds-companion until after our first official meeting. I’m not entirely sure when Greg found out but it was after Molly, I assure you.”

                He took a deep breath, glad that John wasn’t interrupting, though he seemed a bit stuck at the moment. It was good enough to be going on with. “I’m not exactly sure when my infatuation grew into what I could quite possibly call love…” He ignored the slight spluttering coming from John at this point. “But I can assure you that the only experiment that might have occurred during all of this would have been at the very beginning to see if you were anything like your blog appeared, but once these annoying feelings got in the way, any thoughts of experiments were gone. I apologize for anything you might have gone through. I didn’t intend for this to happen.”

                He paused again, merely to collect himself. “I had no plans as you seemed to assume, of making you gay, though I will admit, that would have been the most satisfactory result, with the way my own feelings have turned out. But obviously, something went wrong from there, but for some reason, sentiment most likely, I cannot regret talking to you over tumblr or meeting you in person. But I do regret ending our acquaintance like this. I apologize for any wrongs I have done. And now I will leave you be.” He finished, paused for another moment, watching John’s wide eyes and slightly shocked expression, before he stood, nodded at him and left the room quickly before any more sentiment could filter its way into him and cause him to do something stupid like pleading with John to give him another chance.

\-----------------------------------

John stared after Sherlock for a long moment, mind whirring and trying to wrap around everything Sherlock had said. He was still stuck on the word love. Did Sherlock really just say he loved John? That wasn’t even possible was it? He could feel his heart pounding almost as if it was in his head. He shook his head to clear it, needing to understand, needing to speak to Sherlock again, needing to know if this was real. But when he finally came back to himself, Sherlock was gone. His eyes widened again and he sat up further. “Sherlock!” He called. Hoping Sherlock had just left and could hear him. But then he realized he had no idea how long he had been sitting there almost in a trance. He got up quickly and pulled all the wires and tubes from himself, wincing a bit at the slight sting, but ignoring the noises alerting the nurses. He limped a bit out of the room again calling out “Sherlock!” But wasn’t able to get far before nurses were surrounding him and trying to get him back in the bed.

“I’m fine! Where’s Sherlock? He just left. I need him. Where is he?” He almost begged as they pushed and prodded him back to the bed. His main nurse shook her head, “He left a couple of minutes ago. He’s probably out of the building. Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be back to see you.” She said overly sweetly, with an exaggerated smile that John didn’t pay any attention to.

Finally they got him back in the bed and hooked up again, but John was distracted. He couldn’t focus on anything. Sherlock had feelings for him, and John was a prat. That’s all he could think about. Sherlock had sat out there, patiently waiting for John to come to his senses, well.. not too patiently since he forced his way into the room eventually. John tried not to think of that as a fond memory. He also tried not to think of it all as if he’d never see Sherlock again. Sherlock had promised he’d do his best so John wouldn’t have to see him. But then, sure if John made it clear he wanted to see him, then Sherlock would see him, right?

John chewed his lip a bit, suddenly unsure. He had shoved Sherlock away. Would Sherlock really want to come back? Besides that, what if Sherlock was too good at not seeing John? John made himself calm down and knew that wasn’t possible. John knew where Sherlock spent his lunches at school if nothing else. And besides that, John knew where he lived. That was good then. He would get in touch with him. As soon as he was let out of the hospital and got his family situation under control. He worried his lip a bit more before finally letting himself smile just a bit. Sherlock loved him. John was an absolute idiot, but it didn’t matter because his feelings were returned. He could handle anything else, surely.


	18. Resolutions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to let everyone know that the blogs in this fanfic have recently been created! Not by me, but by Femke whom you can find on tumblr with the URL sherleg. They’re absolutely brilliant, and I’m completely honored that she turned them into real blogs. The blogs are the following URLs:  
> John: bonds-companion  
> Sherlock: onlyconsultingstudentdetective  
> Molly: cutesy-cat-loves  
> Sally: woman-versus-world  
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took another day before John was able to go home. His father hadn’t been found, but the police were now involved in the full situation and keeping surveillance on John’s home and school as much as possible. John hated it. He hated people getting involved in something he needed to deal with. He also hated the way his mother had shut down even more and his sister had become even more outspoken as if she had single handedly defeated their father.

John was disgusted by his family, despite his need to care for them. His mother didn’t even try to get a job, and his sister didn’t think past anything but the fact that she didn’t have to yell at their dad anymore. She couldn’t understand the way they weren’t going to be able to pay any of their bills. So it all fell on John’s shoulders to figure out how to live.

John was too focused on finding a job to worry about his situation with Sherlock, he only hoped Sherlock would understand in the end. John didn’t even go to school for a few days as he spent the time with his family, and filling out a résumé and applying to jobs.

John was relieved at how easy it was to get a job. But of course, that only made him angrier, because his mother wasn’t even trying, and his job was barely minimum wage and at a bookstore of all places. But it was a job. John didn’t stop there though. The bookstore filled in hours right after school, but he still had hours late at night, so he kept applying. By the end of the week he was glad to have found a second job at a diner late at night. It left a few hours between jobs for homework. And he’d take up more hours on the weekend just to make sure he could afford everything.

Finally John was able to get back to school, though he knew catching up was going to be difficult on top of his jobs. And then there was the whole Sherlock situation which John didn’t even know how to begin to resolve. He told himself it was easy, just walk up and say how he felt. But he’d feel like an idiot doing that, especially in the chem lab which is where he expected to find him.

Monday he hurried to school, hoping to find Sherlock as soon as possible. He was disappointed when he couldn’t find him before the bell rang, but then he had to remind himself that Sherlock was always the one to find him. He didn’t even actually know where Sherlock’s locker was or if he even used it.

The morning felt like it was completely drawn out. He wanted to leave and find Sherlock, but knew he was already so far behind that he needed to be there now no matter how painful it was. He was at least glad the staring was kept at a minimal, despite his beat up appearance.

Finally the lunch bell rang and John fled from the classroom and headed to the cafeteria immediately. He waited outside, watching everyone filter in, just to make sure Sherlock wasn’t coming to meet him, though he’d been gone for a week and he knew Sherlock had said he wouldn’t bother him, one could hope. Finally after strange looks from Molly and Greg, John headed to the chem lab.

He stood outside the door for over ten minutes before he finally got the courage to open the door. “Sherlock. I just wanted to say that I..” He stopped when it was clear that the room was empty. He sighed, and settled on one of the stools to wait, before getting antsy and pacing the room a bit.

He left the room after waiting a half-hour and then headed throughout the halls, looking in classrooms and glancing into the cafeteria again. He groaned when the bell rang signaling time to head to class. He sighed, giving up for the day before he saw Sherlock enter a side door of the school. John hadn’t thought to look outside, since usually they weren’t allowed outside and he wouldn’t even know where to look. He gave a slight smile when Sherlock’s eyes caught his own but frowned when Sherlock’s eyes widened before he turned and hurried down the hall, now being flooded with students. John hurried down the hall and turned down the next where Sherlock had headed, but Sherlock was gone.

John stood there, staring as if expecting Sherlock to return. The second bell rang and John cursed, before sprinting off through the empty halls to his class. He realized it would be impossible to find Sherlock if he didn’t want to be found, but it hadn’t really crossed his mind that he absolutely wouldn’t want to see John.

John sighed and slid into his seat after taking the tardy slip from the professor. Just what he needed, to get detention and be late to his first day of work. He tried to pay attention to class, while working out what he would have to do next in order to get Sherlock to hear him out as Sherlock had done with John.

\--------------------------------

Working at the bookstore wasn’t too bad. He was glad the lady working there, Mrs. Hudson, was overly sweet. He apologized for being late, but she merely brushed it off and started showing him his duties. John actually found he enjoyed her presence. She was an older lady who spoke a lot about how things were ‘back in her day.’ John found himself rather amused by her stories.

John had even found himself opening up a bit about himself, though that was mostly because of her persistence and questions. She kept telling him he looked down about something, and John was rather shocked to find himself explaining the whole thing without using names. As soon as he finished, she hit him with a newspaper, shocking him further. “That poor boy.” She had commented, tsking at him. “You better find him and hope he’s the forgiving sort.” She had added before she started mothering him and telling him he would be just fine. John found himself rather at odds with the whole situation.

Mrs. Hudson had also gotten him to explain his situation and why he would be working so many hours despite school. He even admitted he had another job lined up for the later hours. She had had cooed over him a bit, making him feel both cared for and babied. He shook his head lightly when she tried to help him out, his pride too great to allow for such things.

Mrs. Hudson shook her head lightly. “Well, that’s fine. I’m sure it will sort itself out just fine.” She assured him again. “We don’t really get many customers, so feel free to take time to get any work you need done in between monitoring the shelves and all that. Some days we only get one customer. But he’s a usual. Doesn’t usually buy anything, comes here sometimes, though he hasn’t been around much unless he’s in the back using my computer.” She shook her head, smiling fondly. “He doesn’t take no for an answer, that one.”

John nodded and was about to respond when the door opened, causing them both to glance that direction. John’s eyes widened at the sight of a forlorn looking Sherlock entering and speaking. “Mrs. Hudson!” He called, before his eyes locked on the two of them.

Mrs. Hudson shook her head, not noticing the way Sherlock’s eyes darted over John, deducing, or how John was a bit frozen. “Sherlock.” She chided. “No need to yell. You’ll scare away the customers. Now…” She didn’t get any further as Sherlock’s eyes narrowed on John before he spun around and headed back out the door.

John sighed and slumped a bit, causing Mrs. Hudson to glance at him. “Well that was odd. Not that he isn’t odd.” John cleared his throat. “That’s the usual customer?” He asked, quietly.

She nodded. “Oh yes. He used to come here every day. But like I said he hasn’t been coming as often recently. Not for a few weeks at least. But he seemed happier, so I didn’t question it. He didn’t look very good today though. I do hope everything is alright.” She said, frowning slightly.

John felt his heart clenching in guilt. He wanted to run after Sherlock, but Sherlock obviously didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He had opened up and John had shot him down. He didn’t blame Sherlock at all.

He couldn’t really enjoy Mrs. Hudson’s presence after that, though she was kind and sweet as ever, and after a while seemed to have a knowing glint in her eye. But John couldn’t talk to her about it anymore. He set to work on organizing the shelves and on his homework, knowing where he was heading next.

After his shift ended, John said his goodbyes to Mrs. Hudson and hurried off down the road, knowing where he was heading. He only had a couple of hours before his next job. He didn’t pause outside a door this time but knocked immediately, and decided he didn’t want to wait and opened the door, relieved to find it open. He hurried inside Sherlock’s large house and ran up the stairs without even looking anywhere else.

He flung open Sherlock’s door and started cursing aloud. It was just his luck. Sherlock wasn’t even home. He felt like giving up, but he couldn’t do that. He had to talk to Sherlock. He decided he’d wait for him to return, well.. he’d wait until he had to go to work. He then decided he better check the rest of the house first, and perhaps see if Sherlock’s brother knew where he was.

He took a deep breath before heading down the stairs and turning toward the sitting room. He blinked slowly at the sight of Mycroft and Greg sitting far too close together to be merely acquaintances. Both pairs of eyes were watching him, likely having been staring in his direction since he flew into the house and up the stairs without even noticing them.

John cleared his throat. “Um.. You two wouldn’t happen to know where Sherlock is.. would you.” Greg shook his head as Mycroft answered. “I always know where my brother is. However, I’m not entirely certain what he is up to. He fled his usual bookstore rather quickly. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you?” He asked, looking at John condescendingly. John blushed slightly. “Um.. So.. could you tell me where he is, then?” He asked, avoiding the question all together, which didn’t’ seem to faze Mycroft at all.

“I could.” He said, still watching John. John rolled his eyes at both Mycroft’s response and the amused, fond look Greg was giving him. “Right. Thanks for that, you’re so very helpful. I’m sure that someone as smart as you couldn’t possibly have understood what I meant by my question. But apparently you’re not as smart as your brother. My bad. I’ll leave you two to your snogging.” He remarked, not caring whether or not they actually had been snogging, as he fled the house again, angry and tired, and not wanting to deal with Mycroft any longer.

He sat on the doorstep instead, still intent on waiting for Sherlock. John eventually had to give up, before getting up to head to his next job. He couldn’t be late to both jobs in one day, besides his boss at the diner couldn’t be nearly as forgiving as Mrs. Hudson.

\------------------------------

Sherlock didn’t know what to think. John had been gone longer than necessary. He knew John was out of the hospital, merely by observing Greg. He decided he must have been avoiding Sherlock. Sherlock felt the pang of hurt at that. He had a tiny inkling of hope that once he had made himself clear to John that John would accept Sherlock’s explanation and they could restart their whole relationship.

He knew better than to hope though, seeing as it destroyed everything. Sentiment is not an advantage. And it was proven time and time again especially now with his feelings toward John.

He hid outside during lunch, not wanting to chance running into John. He didn’t need John to be more upset with him. He promised they wouldn’t talk or see each other and he would do his best to keep that promise though his heart ached at the thought, at least John would be happy.

He sat outside, hidden in an alcove and smoking his newly acquired cigarettes. The nicotine allowed him to think, and just made everything better. He thought about finding something stronger and was tempted, but decided he didn’t want his brother in his hair at the moment. He’d wait until the pain was unbearable.

He entered the school and found himself staring straight at John. He didn’t think, didn’t let himself deduce right then. Instead he fled, terrified of how John would react at seeing him. He didn’t want John to disappear just because he didn’t want to deal with Sherlock. Once he was safe in his classroom, he let his mind wander, trying to figure out solutions.

Finally he had it. Boarding School. He’d leave. John would never see him again, but John would stay put with what was left of his family and he would be happy. Sherlock decided it was the best solution, also because it meant there was less temptation for Sherlock to see John or talk to John. It also gave him a better opportunity to acquire needed substances, without Mycroft prying too much.

Sherlock headed to the office right after school, deciding to figure everything out and get started on applications into a boarding school, far from there. It would be easy to get in. He had impeccable grades, despite his lack of care, and his family had money to spare. He spent the next few hours getting everything ready and sending it in.

Later he headed to his old haunt at the bookstore. He hadn’t been there in a while, because of his desire to be on the computer and be with John, and of course because Molly was always showing up at his house, though she stopped doing that in the last week, when Sherlock started locking her out of his room so he didn’t have to see her pity or hear her advice. She didn’t give up completely, trying to talk to him as much as she could during classes. He ignored her the best he could. But he had to admit, he missed her presence.

He opened the door and called, out for Mrs. Hudson. She was the only person Sherlock could really talk to. She was more of a mother than his actual mother ever was. She would know just what to say, and possibly have biscuits hidden somewhere.

He froze at the unexpected sight of John. At first he thought that John was there to see him and his heart skipped a beat. But then the shock on John’s face was enough to change his mind. He flitted his eyes over him, deciding it was time to deduce him. He didn’t listen to Mrs. Hudson’s words as he deduced. Finally his eyes narrowed on John as he came to a conclusion. John worked here now. He needed money, because his father was being tracked down, which was actually big news at school. His mother was obviously not stepping up so John did instead. Sherlock felt the anger boil at John’s family, that they would leave all of the weight on John, while John still needed to get his perfect grades in order to become the doctor he wanted to be.

Sherlock turned around and fled the building. He couldn’t think about how John was taking seeing him again, and instead was focused on John’s mother.

He hurried home to pry information from Greg who would likely be there with Mycroft. It was easier than he expected, thinking Greg would try to hold back. He found out that John had taken two jobs and got his address from Greg as well, before leaving again. He then headed off to find his home.

He flung the door open without knocking. He decided John’s mother didn’t deserve that courtesy. He slammed the door behind him and stalked into the kitchen to find John’s mom looking startled and holding up a broom as a weapon.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “If I was here to hurt you, that would hardly stop me.” He said, speaking low, trying to tame his anger. “I’m just here, wondering why you can’t seem to handle being a parent.”

She lowered her broom a bit, still looking fragile. Sherlock didn’t care. He had a point to make. “First you let him get hurt by his father. You care about him and yet you allowed that to happen, time and time again. You can use whatever excuse you want, but John still had to suffer the consequences. Not you or the other child that caused the trouble. He did. He was the one in the hospital. And I didn’t even see you there. You were obviously hiding from your guilt. And now, you’re doing the same. His father is almost out of the picture and you’re hiding from guilt rather than taking charge of your mistakes. What does John get from that? He loses even more. He’s out there with two separate jobs apart from full-time school, while you’re here moping around about how you’ve failed. You’re failing just by doing that. If ever he needed you, it’s now, for you to step up and get a job so he can be the kid and work on getting his dreams rather than taking care of the family /you/ chose to have.”

He took a deep breath, staring at her now, watching her as she closed her eyes after he practically yelled at her. He didn’t care. He just needed her to step up so John wouldn’t be hurting from this.

She nodded slowly. “I… I know I hurt him.. but I … I can’t…”

Sherlock shook his head. “You can. You just don’t want to. You find it easy to hide and pretend that you can’t do anything. He got two jobs in a week. I could get you a job, make sure it pays enough and gives your family benefits, but you sure as hell have to want it and be there.”  

She swallowed and nodded again, straightening up, despite being chided, which gave Sherlock hope. “Good. Now. First. I assume you have a resume. I’m going to fix it up for you. I have a job in mind. You are going to get that job if you do exactly as I say.” He said.

He spent the next few hours sorting her out and helping her apply for a few jobs that would get her enough money that John could drop both jobs, though Sherlock was aware he probably wouldn’t. He could at least take fewer hours.

Sherlock went for a walk when he was finished, though it was dark. He had a lot on his mind, but was convinced that John’s mom would at least start trying, so he had hope. He headed home and decided to leave John one more message, just to assure him that he wouldn’t be dealing with him for long.

_Anonymous:_

_I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t mean to run into you twice today. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I am taking measures to ensure it doesn’t happen again. I have applied to boarding school and am convinced I will be gone from our shared school by the end of the week hopefully. I just wanted to say goodbye. I won’t bother you again._

He sighed and laid on his bed, closing his eyes. It was done. He had to keep telling himself that John was happy and that was all that mattered.

\------------------------------

John was astonished when he arrived at the diner. It was a quaint little place, and the person he was interviewed by turned out to be just the hiring agent and not the boss, which was a relief. The boss seemed to be just as forgiving as Mrs. Hudson. He was jovial and happy man named Angelo, and it appeared as if everything John did was good and any mistake he made was ‘better than it could have been.’

John felt rather lucky. Both jobs were rather easy and almost fun with the employers. It could have been much worse. He felt like things were looking up, despite the fact that he already felt exhausted and it was his first day at work, but he told himself he could do this.

During his break Angelo didn’t stop talking, just like Mrs. Hudson really. Though, Angelo told more stories and asked less questions, which John was glad for. He liked the stories, but once again, felt haunted by Sherlock, when he realized that some of the stories Angelo was telling had to be about him. No one else was that ingenious, and rude and persistent and…perfect John thought before shaking his head.

He tried to ignore Angelo’s stories after that, but found himself almost craving anything to do with Sherlock, and began listening better whenever they had a moment for Angelo to talk.

It was late into the night when John finished his shift. He was glad that Angelo insisted he eat during one of his breaks. He practically stuffed John full of food. But that meant John could just go to bed.

Of course that didn’t happen. His mom was waiting up for him, which he found more than strange. He was immediately pulled into a clingy hug. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered.

John blinked slowly, not sure what was happening. He hugged her back a bit timidly, before she pulled away, tears sliding down her face which John didn’t like at all. He reached up to brush the tears away, frowning a bit, trying to understand.

She took a deep breath. “I wasn’t ever there for you. I never.. I was..am.. such a terrible mother. But.. I’m going to change that. I promise. Your friend.. he’s helping me get a job.. I’m going to get a good job. You don’t need to have one. I’m going to take care of you now, John.” She said, tears flowing more freely now.

John opened his mouth a few times, trying to figure out which part of that he wanted to address. “My friend?” He asked finally.

She nodded. “Yes.. Didn’t tell me his name. Tall, slender, curly dark hair.” She said, looking a bit thoughtful despite the tears.

John’s heart stopped for a moment, as his eyes widened. “He.. he… he’s helping you.. why?” He asked, heart pounding faster than before now.

She smiled softly. “Because of you. He.. he put me in my place John. I’m sorry. He was right. I was so wrong with how I’ve behaved. I haven’t done anything right by you, but that’s going to change. I promise. Starting with telling you it’s bedtime.” She kissed his forehead and locked the door behind a still bewildered John before herding him into his room.

John stared at the door as it shut. He felt like crying and screaming and finding Sherlock right now and snogging the hell out of him, but that probably wouldn’t be appreciated. He took a deep breath and decided to post on tumblr. He logged in and shook his head at the asks, deciding not to look at them quite yet.

bonds-companion:

Weird week I’ve had. Highlights include getting two jobs. Both employers of said jobs I’m just going to say know my anon. Which I have met, by the way. And I hope to hell he reads this because he’s not letting me get near enough to him to talk. But anyway. So, I have two jobs because my mom wasn’t responding to anything and we needed a source of income. I came home after my first day of work to find that my anon, the one who’s been avoiding me because I was an idiot had talked sense to my mum and she’s now going to get a job and be a parent and I can’t even thank my anon because he’s not speaking to me. So anon if you’re reading this.. Thank you so much. And.. what you said at the hospital, I return your affections completely. I’ve just been an idiot. Please read this.. Please talk to me…

 

He sighed after posting and ran his hand over his face before finally looking at his asks. His eyes widened as he found his anon. He was excited at first, and then felt the world crashing around him again. Leaving? Boarding school? No! Before John knew what was happening he was flying out of his room and out of the house as quickly as he could. He sprinted down the street, needing to get to Sherlock’s place as soon as possible. He rested his hands on his knees and panted heavily. He tried the door, but it was locked, so he knocked over and over again with no response. Finally, he looked for a small rock.

He picked one up and glanced at the house. Once he was sure he found Sherlock’s window he chucked the rock at it and winced as it hit the mark and instead of making a soft sound like it would in the movies, it flew through the window with a crash, causing John to curse at the same time as he heard a curse from inside the window and then saw Sherlock’s face as he opened the window and looked down, glaring and getting ready to shout until he saw John.

John’s face turned bright red as he watched Sherlock. “I… Oh fuck. I’m sorry! I.. It doesn’t do that in the movies!” He called.

Sherlock blinked slowly and raised an eyebrow. “If you get your solid information from movies, then I am once again worrying about humanity.” He said, just loud enough for John to hear.

John swallowed and nodded. “Yeah.. I.. sorry about that.. and .. the hour.. but.. I needed .. need to talk to you.” He fumbled through the words. “Please don’t make me do the whole ‘what light through yonder window breaks’ thing..” He pleaded, looking up at him, though he was ready to do anything to just get Sherlock to listen to him.

Sherlock furrowed his brow as if he didn’t understand. “I do not understand to what you’re referring.” John’s jaw dropped. “Seriously? Romeo and Juliet? Shakespeare? Did you seriously delete that?” He asked, sounding appalled. Sherlock rolled his eyes. “I have not deleted Shakespeare. That particular play however was atrocious. Macbeth and Hamlet are both much better.”

John chuckled softly. “So… are you going to let me in or what?” He asked, trying to keep the pleading out of his voice.

Sherlock raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know about you, but usually we don’t let in perpetrators.” He said, causing John to blush again. “I… about that.. I can fix it.. or pay for it. Just give me time.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “You’ll do no such thing. I can afford it just fine. I’m rather impressed by your arm and your aim, unless you weren’t aiming for the window, which one could hope was the case, but you’ve already made it clear that you did intend to hit the window.” He sounded rather amused. John bit his lip and bounced on his toes.

“So.. it’s kind of cold out here.. and I really need to say something..” He said, a bit quieter, causing Sherlock to strain a bit to hear him before disappearing. John took a deep breath and moved to the door. He was glad that Sherlock was quick about it, and not letting John stand there awkwardly for too long.

Sherlock opened the door and gestured him in. John entered but turned around to face Sherlock as soon as the door was shut. “Sherlock..I.. I’ve been an idiot. And. I .. I don’t.. what you’ve done.. and.. but..me.. that. It..sherlock.” He said, trying to get words out. Sherlock raised an eyebrow. “Very articulate. I’m afraid I didn’t understand that at all.“

John shook his head lightly. “Fuck it.” He murmured before wrapping a hand around Sherlock’s neck and pulling him down into a kiss, causing Sherlock to freeze against his lips. The kiss was short and nothing more than a press of lips against each other. John’s eyes were a bit wide. He licked his lips nervously as he waited for a response. “Did you understand that?” He asked softly.

Sherlock swallowed and nodded slowly, before a slight glint appeared in his eyes and he smirked softly. “Actually…I’m not sure I did. Perhaps if you tried to explain it again.” He said, just as quietly, causing John to grin and blush. “After I’m done talking, I promise.” He said, feeling his heart throb.

Sherlock tilted his head, waiting as John took another deep breath to steady himself. “I.. I just want to say that I was an idiot. And I was scared, but that was no excuse. Honestly I acted like a mixture of my mother and father, both lashing out and hiding behind fear, and I hate myself for that. But I did try to talk to you, right after you left the hospital. I tried to chase you down, it ended badly. And then I searched all lunch hour for you but only found you at the last moment and then.. you.. you ran. And then you showed up at my new job and fled again.. and I.. I didn’t know how to talk to you. And then my mom. What you did for her.. ”

Sherlock stayed quiet until the last part where he shook his head harshly. “You are well aware I didn’t do it for her, John.” He said quietly, causing John to swallow thickly and nod. “Yeah.. I.. yeah. I know..” He bit his lip harder, before smiling a bit. “I.. I just. Have one more thing to say.. just give me a moment.”

Sherlock raised an eyebrow curiously as John closed his eyes and took slow breaths before opening them and gazing softly into Sherlock’s eyes. “Sherlock Holmes…I.. I think I’m in love with you. And I really hope you’re not really going to a boarding school, because I just found you, and though I fucked everything up, I’m hoping you’ll forgive me…eventually at least..”

Sherlock smirked a bit. “Oh I don’t know…. I..” He was interrupted by a scoff, causing both of them to turn toward the noise to find Mycroft.

Mycroft stared at the two of them. “Sherlock, bed. John. I suggest you leave before I decide to take action on broken property.” He said sternly.

John’s eyes widened. “I.. I’m sorry about that. I didn’t meant to. I.. I’ll pay for it, I swear.. just..” He glanced toward Sherlock, needing to hear that last bit from Sherlock. Mycroft shook his head. “Are you really that dense?” He said slowly and tilted his head toward the door. Sherlock stayed quiet, not wanting to say what he had to say in front of Mycroft. He turned and headed up the stairs.

Mycroft continued staring at John. “If you come back here, I will call the authorities.” He said as John finally moved out the door only to have it shut loudly behind him and locked. He sighed and glanced up at the widow. He frowned more when there was no sight of Sherlock.

Slowly he headed home, not sure what to do or think. Sherlock hadn’t said if he had forgiven or could ever forgive John.

As soon as he got home he logged back into tumblr despite the hour. He once again looked at his asks, hopeful. He grinned at what he found and replied immediately, posting it to his blog.

_Anonymous:_

_Yes John. All is forgiven. Just give me time to deal with my pompous brother. Actually, that’s not altogether true, one thing is not forgiven. You broke a promise. Once the promise has been fulfilled, then and only then will I forgive you. Looking forward to it. And forget what I said in the previous ask. Any papers I receive for boarding school will be promptly burned. And the other bit you mentioned, and I hope you know to what I am referring. I feel the same._

_bonds-companion:_

_Your brother has the worst timing, so I blame him for the unfulfilled promise. But I will fulfill it as soon as the opportunity arrives. Thank you for not going to boarding school. I couldn’t handle that… Not in the least. And I know exactly to what you are referring… trust me, I’m a giddy schoolboy at the moment. Now go to sleep, I know you probably haven’t slept in ages. I want you well rested and I’ll know if you have listened when I see you tomorrow. And if you hide from me, I’ll break another window. [not really, I promise I won’t. I’m sorry that caused problems….] See you soon. <3_


	19. The beginning or the end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay! It's been a very very hectic week... life kind of smacked me in the face.. but I have finally finished it! I hope you all enjoy it. <3  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_woman-versus-world:_

_Oh my god! Finally! And don’t think I didn’t catch those innuendos, I totally know what that unfulfilled promise was. I just can’t believe something I ship is actually coming to fulfillment. And on top of that we all know that your name is John now. Such a common name, though I can’t really complain about that. But really, there’s a John at my school, and he’s not so bad except for the freak he hangs out with. Anyway. FINALLY!!! You two are so dense, I swear._

_bonds-companion:_

_Oh, Sally, I think it’s time you become aware of just who you’re shipping. It’s slightly ironic actually, that you ship us over the web but IRL you loathe the idea of us. Perhaps that shows how quick you are to judge. Also, if you ever call him a freak again, be sure I will deal with you quickly and probably painfully._

_Anon:_

_John, you can’t ‘deal with’ everyone who insults me. That’s far too many people I hope you’re aware. And poor Sally didn’t even know what she was saying. Especially since she’s still bitter that I made her aware of her cheating boyfriend. Apparently it’s my fault he was being an idiot. By the way Sally, the guy you’re dating now is also cheating on you, with a boy. He’s actually completely gay and that would be why he’s not ‘putting out’ as you plebeians like to say._

_bonds-companion:_

_Why are you still on anon? I know you now, in person. And we could have actual private conversations so the world doesn’t have to read everything we say… not that I want to say anything inappropriate of course not.. but still… And Sally surely does know how to pick them. I’d think you’re doing her a favor. I do apologize Sally, but seriously? How can you blame the anon for that? And Anon, don’t call me a plebeian or you get no more ‘promises’._

_woman-versus-world:_

_You… John.. .you’re /that John/?? And the anon is… no way! Oh my god. I can’t believe I’ve spent all this time shipping the person I hate most. And yes, I do hate him. Not because he was right, but because he’s a pompous arse who had to tell the whole world about such things. He couldn’t tell me in secret or anything. He likes to be public and show that he’s clever! And thanks by the way. I’ve now broken it off with him and now he’s gone public and I’m the one who turned him gay. Apparently I’m just that awful! Well fuck men! I don’t need one anyway. WOMEN RULE AND FUCK THE REST!_

_bonds-companion:_

_I’m not entirely sure how to respond to this. Except that I definitely agree, my anon does like to be public and show that he’s clever. He’s not modest in the least. And well.. go you? I don’t think you turned him gay Sally. I think he was that way to begin with and was a jerk who was using you. And for that I apologize.. But I’m glad you are… moving on it seems. Quite enthusiastically with the whole.. pro-women thing…_

_Anonymous:_

_OH MY GOODNESS OH MY GOODNESS! It’s amazing! You guys are finally together and whatnot. It’s just.. amazing! Ship is sailing. I’m so going to art that. I was waiting to join the fandom of bonds-companion and his anon, thinking it’d sink because of distance, but apparently you guys actually live near each other oh my goodness!! And seriously? You guys do make promises sound dirty now. And you sound like an old married couple. Sort of. God you’re both adorable!!!_

_bonds-companion:_

_Yes, we are together. I suppose I could affirm that for everyone. And thanks for the compliments.. I suppose. And the art I’ve seen of us really has been amazing. I almost want to post a picture of us just to see what you guys do with it._

_Anon:_

_You really want to post a picture of us to see what they would do with it? You are aware what they do with such things? I wasn’t aware you wanted viral porn of us both. Along with every other thing they come up with. I much rather prefer them not knowing what I look like._

_bonds-companion:_

_Yeah.. I didn’t think about the porn aspect.. but this is tumblr.. still… curious… besides, you’re not showing me what you look like. So perhaps I have to live through other’s imaginations. ;P_

_Anon:_

_You’ve never asked me to. And to answer your other question. I’m still on anon, merely because I find that I like being /your anon/. It’s more amusing this way. And I’m not getting the spam that you are. Also a highlight._

_bonds-companion:_

_Are you honestly telling me that we could… um.. that I could see you.. if I asked? Because I wasn’t sure.. and then… um.. anyway.. yeah you might have a point about the spam… though most of it is rather amusing._

_cutesy-cat-loves:_

_(first, I now give you permission to post my comments, since your anon already knows.) Also you two are ridiculous. I’m just glad you guys worked everything out. Because your anon was avoiding me. And I found that offensive when I was just trying to help. And you were being an idiot. Honestly the two of you. But I’m glad you’ve finally come to your senses. Now I just feel like a fifth wheel of sorts. With you and your anon. and the anons brother and our other friend… oh well. I’m actually quite content with that. I’m just glad you all are happy. :D_

_bonds-companion:_

_Yeah…I haven’t thanked you properly, so thank you. Truly. You’re an amazing friend to the both of us. And we were idiots. Mostly me… I can’t believe I did that… And you’re not a fifth wheel. We really aren’t that much different than before. Not in public anyway… :P_

_cutesy-cat-loves:_

_No. You’re not much different than before, and doesn’t that just say something? You two were so dense…. Just glad all that’s over and we’re back to our lunches together._

_bonds-companion:_

_Yes.. I’m told almost daily by my anon just how dense I am. I like to believe it’s in an affectionate way… but you know the anon. and I’m glad everything is back to normal as well. It’s quite a relief._

_bonds-companion:_

_The last few months have been a whirlwind. What with the anon thing going on, and then the thing with my father, who is in jail for those who don’t know. And then my mom actually stepping up and getting a well-paying job. I kept my two jobs, though lessened the hours a lot. I’m still planning on going into the army. Which let me tell you was a difficult conversation with my anon. But I’ll be in Uni first so we have time.. and then I’ll be back. I think it’s just right for me._

_Anon:_

_We’re not done talking about that. I have not given up. I have several more arguments and have even done research on why you must stay here. With me._

_bonds-companion:_

_I’m sure you’ll be telling me why I can’t go even in letters you send me while I’m gone. But I am going. I need to. It’s just.. something I need to do, and I know somewhere deep inside, you know that._

_Anonymous:_

_OH MY GOD!!! You’re leaving him?! Poor anon? Why the army? That’s so lame. And you’ll probably die. And it will just be dumb. And we didn’t sail this ship just to have it sink when you die._

_bonds-companion:_

_Euh.. thanks for the note of confidence. And the army is not lame. Seriously, I’m not going to have this conversation with anyone about the courage of the soldier. Where’s your country pride and all that? And also. You guys sailed the ship? I don’t actually think you had anything to do with my anon and I getting together._

_cutesy-cat-loves:_

_If it’s any consolation, I think you’ll be a great soldier, and I think you’re brave for doing such a thing. I’ll be here for your anon, don’t worry. He’ll be okay. I think he knows you need this. He’s just scared and doesn’t know how to share it. He’s seen you in a hospital once and he didn’t know how to handle it at all…_

_bonds-companion:_

_Thanks Molls. I appreciate all of it, especially being there for my anon.. he’ll need it.. and more so.. I’ll need it. I need to know he’ll be okay._

_bonds-companion:_

_It’s amazing how fast years go by. And it’s amazing still that I still have so many followers asking about me and my anon. Yes we’re still together. And yes I’m still going into the army. I leave in just under a week. So wish me luck and all that. I’m not going to be online until I get back for the last time… It just sounds right to me. So.. .thanks for all the support. This is goodbye for now._

_bonds-companion:_

_Apparently I lied. I’m on leave. I thought with how many asks I have and whatnot I might as well update with just a post rather than trying to filter through everything. I’m safe. I know it’s been a while. I’m still with my anon. We’re planning on living together when I get back for good. Not like I don’t mostly live with him on leaves anyway. Thanks for all the support._

_bonds-companion:_

_It’s earlier than I planned for my final return home. But this is it. I’m home. My anon and I are moving in together finally. He’s quite upset with me. For all of those who don’t know, I was shot and sent home early. I’ve been home for a short time and he’s already fixed my psychosomatic limp. We both have our problems. I’ve learned some things about how he’s handled my absence and well.. I’m not thrilled, but we’re both working on it. I still love him more than anything. And In fact am planning on proposing tonight. So Shh. Don’t tell._

_Anon:_

_John, really. You post publicly that you’re going to propose to me tonight? Do you really think I don’t keep tabs on your blog now just because we live together? I keep tabs on everything about you John. So be wary. And by the way, Yes._

_bonds-companion:_

_Did you seriously answer my proposal online? You couldn’t just let me propose tonight at dinner like I had planned? You’re in the same flat as me! Right now! I can see you! And you still had to… you know what fine. Our relationship started with tumblr might as well do all the official things here as well. But I’m still proposing officially tonight, you git. (sidenote: I’m actually very giddy and I’m coming over there right now so you better be prepared for that.)_

_bonds-companion:_

_Some of you don’t know that my anon is Sherlock Holmes, the genius in London. But now you do. I have decided after an amazing case he solved with the Scotland Yard that I’m now going to use this blog to post his cases. The first being “The Study in Pink.” I’m writing it now and hope to have it posted soon. Sherlock and I are happily engaged. Soon to be married, and I couldn’t ask for anything more. He’s still a git and does things like leaving eyeballs in the microwave and a dead mouse in the bathtub. But I love him. God help me I do. And I suppose this is the life I have chosen. And I couldn’t be happier. (Except maybe if he warned me about whatever the hell he put in my tea…)_


End file.
